Fellow Wanderers & Easter

moocowinthecity 2011-04-24 No Comments

I was scheduled to be the Foreign Relations NCO on duty until noon today and my options were to get there at 22:00 the night before and actually get some sleep or wake up at 05:00 this morning and fumble my way to the Central Bus Station, bleary eyed, and attempt to pretend to maybe think about being productive. I choose the 22:00 option, and made my way to base last night. This turned out to be a fantastic idea, since it let me catch up on paperwork that night, sleep well, and then finish some missions this morning).

At the bus station the night before, a couple ran into me and as most tourists do when seeing my foreign relations name tag (bright white, with my name and rank in English), asked me for some help getting oriented. In this case, they needed internet access so they could see if they got a response from Couch Surfing .

Unfortunately for them, they were in Jerusalem just as Shabbat was letting out which meant that everything was closed (and would remain that way for a couple of hours). Fortunately, after I sent them on their way to the bathroom, with general directions of where they could find an internet cafe, I remembered that I had my laptop in my bag (give me a break, I had just gotten up from a nap) and I found them in front of the bathrooms and let them use my laptop, gave them some hints about Jerusalem, what hostel and sites I recommend and left them to their fate as travelers.

Anyway, short story long, they’re an interesting couple and fellow travelers so I recommend their blogs to you for your reading pleasure (and I’ve added it to my blog roll for your future and continued enjoyment):

Mark Shoberg & Annie Shoeberg

Work & Easter

This morning I managed to clear as many missions as one can possibly do with more than 90% of the country on vacation (the second holiday of Passover, Easter, spring break, etc. all happening at the same time) and so I made my way back to Jerusalem.

Having arrived in the Early afternoon I decided to make my way to the Old City of Jerusalem (after changing out of my uniform at the Soldiers House) and made my way through the Arab Market…

Arab Market, Old City of Jerusalem, Easter Afternoon

To the Church of the Holy Sepulcher

Light pouring into the Holy Sepulcher, Easter Afternoon, 2011

To see what was going on for Easter. The bells were ringing and the energy was palpable.

The Church of the Holy Sepulcher, Easter Afternoon, 2011

While there I took the time to light a bunch of candles for all of my Christian friends (mine’s the big bushel of candles in the center)

Candles Lit at the Church of the Holy Sepulcher, Easter 2011

Afterward, I made my way to a rooftop that I know which is situated at the crossroads of all the quarters…it’s literally where all of the quarters meet in the Old City.

Rooftop View of Jerusalem, Easter 2011

As I was making my way to the stairs, a man approached me and started asking me for directions to the Dome of the Rock (which you can see in the background of the above picture) in English (…so I suppose I don’t have to be in uniform to be spotted as a guide…). He was in Jerusalem with his wife for Easter so I took the ten minute detour and walked them to where they could get to the entrance and then made my way back home.

In all, a productive day, a beautiful day, and one that gives me just another taste of what I have to look forward to when I’m once again a civilian.

Hare Club For Men

moocowinthecity 2011-04-23 No Comments

Today I woke up to a beautiful Shabbat morning in Jerusalem. The sun is shining, the wind is blowing gently, and while it’s slightly chilly out, there is plenty of warmth to be found in the walls of the capital city.

Right now, the Old City of Jerusalem is packed with Christian Pilgrims who are here to celebrate Easter. I had the blessing of being in the Church of the Holy Sepulcher a few years back when pilgrims came to worship, their prayers rising with the incense to the heavens and the chant of the brothers simply filled everyone with awe…it’s truly something to behold.

Right now I’m living in the Soldiers House in Jerusalem. I moved here a few weeks ago from Ashdod.

The Soldiers House or “Beit HaChayal” (בית החייל) houses both Lone Soldiers (such as myself) as well as soldiers looking to take a vacation in a specific city (Soldiers Houses can be found throughout the country).

The Soldiers Houses are also used to accommodate the housing needs during army courses (for example: if a platoon from up north is going on a tour of Jerusalem, they may stay at our Soldiers House in order to save on time busing back and forth if it’s going to be a two-day trip).

But Who’s Counting?

From today, I have 57 actual days (and 40 work days) until I finish my army service as illustrated by this countdown chart, which  can be found hanging above my desk:

Protip: Don’t tell your commander how many days:hours:minutes:seconds you have left of your army service every morning when he gets to the office…it will make him antsy.

While I will be sad to trade in my uniform in for civilian attire, I am also incredibly excited for moving forward with my career, my life and my future. I’m also incredibly thankful to once again have things that I’m allowed to post about.

I’m very much looking forward to using this blog to discuss my coursework, languages, music, both my linguistic and cultural research, and of course, my travels.

“Welcome to the M.A. Program!”

Right now the hardest part is waiting to finish the army. It isn’t just because I’m looking forward to moving on, but it’s also because the next batch of missions I’ll be taking on will at some point become someone else’s responsibility (I hate passing off my missions to anyone, for any reason).

Right now my time is devoted to teaching new soldiers, the officer who will be taking over for the position I was supposed to sign contract for, writing the updated training manual for my section and wrapping things up in general, closing down my classroom, packing up my office, cleaning and folding my life neatly into two or three duffel bags and preparing to head 9,000 miles away from Jerusalem so, at some point in the future, I can afford to live here.

The day after I finish the army I head to the bank to pick up a check that covers my first course at the Open University (I have 11,000 shekels to pay for school, courtesy of my army retirement package) and then the following day I’ll be heading up to Ranana to hand in my registration form:

The photo on my undergraduate student ID card had more hair…

At that moment, it all becomes official…I’ll be a graduate student, a civilian, and hopefully also employed (I should find out this week or next). I look forward to weeks of work and studying, with dancing and working out in the evenings. I look forward to weekends filled with exploring museums, exhibits, hiking and camping…all the things that someone in their late twenties should be enjoying…ahh…almost there…almost there…57 days…

Hare Club For Men

moocowinthecity 2011-04-23 No Comments

Today I woke up to a beautiful Shabbat morning in Jerusalem. The sun is shining, the wind is blowing gently, and while it’s slightly chilly out, there is plenty of warmth to be found in the walls of the capital city.

Right now, the Old City of Jerusalem is packed with Christian Pilgrims who are here to celebrate Easter. I had the blessing of being in the Church of the Holy Sepulcher a few years back when pilgrims came to worship, their prayers rising with the incense to the heavens and the chant of the brothers simply filled everyone with awe…it’s truly something to behold.

Right now I’m living in the Soldiers House in Jerusalem. I moved here a few weeks ago from Ashdod.

The Soldiers House or “Beit HaChayal” (בית החייל) houses both Lone Soldiers (such as myself) as well as soldiers looking to take a vacation in a specific city (Soldiers Houses can be found throughout the country).

The Soldiers Houses are also used to accommodate the housing needs during army courses (for example: if a platoon from up north is going on a tour of Jerusalem, they may stay at our Soldiers House in order to save on time busing back and forth if it’s going to be a two-day trip).

But Who’s Counting?

From today, I have 57 actual days (and 40 work days) until I finish my army service as illustrated by this countdown chart, which  can be found hanging above my desk:

Protip: Don’t tell your commander how many days:hours:minutes:seconds you have left of your army service every morning when he gets to the office…it will make him antsy.

While I will be sad to trade in my uniform in for civilian attire, I am also incredibly excited for moving forward with my career, my life and my future. I’m also incredibly thankful to once again have things that I’m allowed to post about.

I’m very much looking forward to using this blog to discuss my coursework, languages, music, both my linguistic and cultural research, and of course, my travels.

“Welcome to the M.A. Program!”

Right now the hardest part is waiting to finish the army. It isn’t just because I’m looking forward to moving on, but it’s also because the next batch of missions I’ll be taking on will at some point become someone else’s responsibility (I hate passing off my missions to anyone, for any reason).

Right now my time is devoted to teaching new soldiers, the officer who will be taking over for the position I was supposed to sign contract for, writing the updated training manual for my section and wrapping things up in general, closing down my classroom, packing up my office, cleaning and folding my life neatly into two or three duffel bags and preparing to head 9,000 miles away from Jerusalem so, at some point in the future, I can afford to live here.

The day after I finish the army I head to the bank to pick up a check that covers my first course at the Open University (I have 11,000 shekels to pay for school, courtesy of my army retirement package) and then the following day I’ll be heading up to Ranana to hand in my registration form:

The photo on my undergraduate student ID card had more hair…

At that moment, it all becomes official…I’ll be a graduate student, a civilian, and hopefully also employed (I should find out this week or next). I look forward to weeks of work and studying, with dancing and working out in the evenings. I look forward to weekends filled with exploring museums, exhibits, hiking and camping…all the things that someone in their late twenties should be enjoying…ahh…almost there…almost there…57 days…

Morning in Jerusalem

moocowinthecity 2011-04-17 No Comments

It’s 4:16 in the morning here in the West Bank city of Ma’aleh Adumim, where I spent this past Shabbat. Today I have 63 actual days (eight weeks-ish), 45 work days until I’m a civilian again…it can’t come soon enough. It’s not that I don’t love the army – I still do – but after three incredibly intense years I need a major lifestyle change, different scenery and to be my own man again.

I have something around 900+ emails in my in-box…the fact that there aren’t villagers with pitchforks surrounding my place of abode is astounding. My biggest problem is that I’m not allowed to bring a civilian computer into my office and our army computers – quite wisely – aren’t connected to the outside world…by the time I get home (if I get home…) I’m too exhausted to take off my boots, let alone turn on my laptop and write anything more than “hi” before I crash.

For those of you who want a quick catch up:

• I’ve moved to the Soldiers Hostel in Jerusalem for the remainder of my service…in retrospect, I should have done this sooner even though it makes my daily commute 3.5 hours in total (without traffic).
• I’ve been accepted into graduate school (yay!). I’ll be studying at the Open University of Israel in Ranana (through distance education) from New York. My M.A. is in Cultural Studies focusing on Middle Eastern culture and literature…expect a lot of posts about this once I’m a civilian again…posts filled with Hebrew, Arabic and lots of pictures and music…ahh things I’m allowed to blog about without having to worry about the Intelligence Corps throwing a fit.
• I’m waiting to hear back on a few jobs I’ve applied for in New York. One of them is to be a project manager for a construction firm. I figure if I’ve just spent three years executing missions around the world on behalf of the IDF than I can certainly transfer those skills to project managing construction plans, approvals, certificates, variances and projects instead of international permissions, agreements, contracts, visas and flight itineraries.
• I’m heading back to New York for a couple of years to work on my M.A. while holding down a full time job and trying to save as much cash as I can…sadly, I am not independently wealthy and travel requires money.
• The return to the U.S. in no way should be considered permanent…I just can’t work in any of my chosen professions until I complete my M.A. (at a minimum) and – ideally – my Ph.D.
• Within my first year on Long Island I also hope to finish the four additional teaching addenda to my teaching certification so I can get that out of the way.
• I’m chomping at the bit to register for classes…that’ll happen two or three days after I’m done with the IDF.
• I really need to go shopping in the Old City of Jerusalem, this will also happen a day or two after I’m done registering for courses.
• My travelogue is five pages away from being completed and sent off – I think it’ll happen before the Passover Seder, but no promises.
• I really, really want a vegetarian Margie Meal.
• I’ve been approved to be a soldier on a Taglit-Birthright Israel bus
• I now have a folding camping shovel which makes me incredibly happy…I also have a poop shovel with ruler on the side (to measure the depth of the cat-hole you need to dig), but I’ve had that for awhile so it’s not nearly as exciting.

And now it’s 04:40 so I’m going to ‘get up’, get shaved and get dressed…63 days…63 days…

Morning in Jerusalem

moocowinthecity 2011-04-17 No Comments

It’s 4:16 in the morning here in the West Bank city of Ma’aleh Adumim, where I spent this past Shabbat. Today I have 63 actual days (eight weeks-ish), 45 work days until I’m a civilian again…it can’t come soon enough. It’s not that I don’t love the army – I still do – but after three incredibly intense years I need a major lifestyle change, different scenery and to be my own man again.

I have something around 900+ emails in my in-box…the fact that there aren’t villagers with pitchforks surrounding my place of abode is astounding. My biggest problem is that I’m not allowed to bring a civilian computer into my office and our army computers – quite wisely – aren’t connected to the outside world…by the time I get home (if I get home…) I’m too exhausted to take off my boots, let alone turn on my laptop and write anything more than “hi” before I crash.

For those of you who want a quick catch up:

1. I’ve moved to the Soldiers Hostel in Jerusalem for the remainder of my service…in retrospect, I should have done this sooner even though it makes my daily commute 3.5 hours in total (without traffic).

1. I’ve been accepted into graduate school (yay!). I’ll be studying at the Open University of Israel in Ranana (through distance education) from New York. My M.A. is in Cultural Studies focusing on Middle Eastern culture and literature…expect a lot of posts about this once I’m a civilian again…posts filled with Hebrew, Arabic and lots of pictures and music…ahh things I’m allowed to blog about without having to worry about the Intelligence Corps throwing a fit.

1. I’m waiting to hear back on a few jobs I’ve applied for in New York. One of them is to be a project manager for a construction firm. I figure if I’ve just spent three years executing missions around the world on behalf of the IDF than I can certainly transfer those skills to project managing construction plans, approvals, certificates, variances and projects instead of international permissions, agreements, contracts, visas and flight itineraries.

1. I’m heading back to New York for a couple of years to work on my M.A. while holding down a full time job and trying to save as much cash as I can…sadly, I am not independently wealthy and travel requires money.

1. The return to the U.S. in no way should be considered permanent…I just can’t work in any of my chosen professions until I complete my M.A. (at a minimum) and – ideally – my Ph.D.

1. Within my first year on Long Island I also hope to finish the four additional teaching addenda to my teaching certification so I can get that out of the way.

1. I’m chomping at the bit to register for classes…that’ll happen two or three days after I’m done with the IDF.

1. I really need to go shopping in the Old City of Jerusalem, this will also happen a day or two after I’m done registering for courses.

1. My travelogue is five pages away from being completed and sent off – I think it’ll happen before the Passover Seder, but no promises.

1. I really, really want a vegetarian Margie Meal.

1. I’ve been approved to be a soldier on a Taglit-Birthright Israel bus

1. I now have a folding camping shovel which makes me incredibly happy…I also have a poop shovel with ruler on the side (to measure the depth of the cat-hole you need to dig), but I’ve had that for awhile so it’s not nearly as exciting.

And now it’s 04:40 so I’m going to ‘get up’, get shaved and get dressed…63 days…63 days…

I’m officially a graduate student…

moocowinthecity 2011-04-06 No Comments

…I’m also technically homeless right now…but I have a tent so really it’s okay…though perhaps I should be doing motivational speaking while living in a van down by the river…updates: I has them, emails: I’m perpetually behinds on them…though hopefully soon I’ll be caught up…if nothing else, in 74 days I can once again regularly use my email while at work…

It’s Been That Kind of Week

moocowinthecity 2011-03-26 No Comments

From Sunday: 11 Weeks (84 Actual Days, 60 Work days) Until I Finish The Army

We are officially at the beginning of the end folks. 84 days until I have a real life again, 84 days until I’ll be moving on with my career, 84 days until I’ll be able to start earning money again and get off of army welfare and army food stamps, 84 days until I can write down everything about my day because none of it will be top secret, 84 days until I close what has been an incredibly exciting, three year, chapter of my life.

אוג’ 08′

I decided that as my going away present to those who I work with, I’m making a CD of songs that I’ve listened to on repeat during certain periods of my army career (like the song I listened to on my draft day, the songs I listened to during basic training, during my NCO course, etc.). Above is the CD cover I made. I like it because the symbol for the IDF Ground Forces Command is behind me, as I’m moving forward, and the symbol of the Education & Youth Corps on my beret is in the forefront moving forward towards the future.

“I could never get the hang of Thursdays…”

Last Wednesday I was a couple of blocks away from the explosion in Jerusalem. Due to one of those weird turns of fate (or, grace of God if you prefer) I wasn’t there. Earlier in the day I had planned to finish what I was doing and either visit my friend in Ma’aleh Adumim or return to Tel Aviv and work from HQ. I had decided I was going to go back to HQ, so I called my friend in Ma’aleh Adumim and canceled. Then, for some reason, I decided to let work go for awhile (something I rarely do) and decided to continue on a tour with my friends instead. I called my commander and he had no problem with it, so off we went.

Had I went to Ma’aleh Adumim, I’d have been at that bus stop and around the time the bomb exploded. Had I decided to return to Tel Aviv, my bus would have dropped me off at the bus stop at around the time the bomb exploded. I’ll talk more about rockets and bombs and things in my travelogue (which I hope to be putting out tonight, since it’s 8 months due) so I’ll save you all the x-posting.

Job Hunting, Dating, The Real World

I’m incredibly excited to be moving forward with my education and my career…I’m chomping at the bit at this point. I’m really attempting (and hopeful) that I’ll be able to finish all of the training that I need to get a good start on the professional portion of my career (when I’ll actually be doing field work, instead of learning about it) within the next seven years…which would put me at 32, which for an academic and field linguist isn’t such a bad starting age.

Dating is something I’m looking forward to as well, though I’m also slightly cringing at the prospect at the same time. I’m not exactly the easiest person to date: I’m intense, active, slightly to moderately weird and sometimes people find it hard to keep up. I also need someone who I find interesting, who is equally (or more active) and who holds my attention.

I understand that dating isn’t easy, across any age range or sexuality…the whole kissing frogs until finding the handsome prince thing, but there has got to be an easier way than constantly going on dates. I may try speed dating (…gay Jewish speed dating?)…we’ll see. I am looking forward to getting back out there though…if nothing else, for the stand up material.

More later. Now, time for coffee and the travelogue.

It’s Been That Kind of Week

moocowinthecity 2011-03-26 No Comments

From Sunday: 11 Weeks (84 Actual Days, 60 Work days) Until I Finish The Army

We are officially at the beginning of the end folks. 84 days until I have a real life again, 84 days until I’ll be moving on with my career, 84 days until I’ll be able to start earning money again and get off of army welfare and army food stamps, 84 days until I can write down everything about my day because none of it will be top secret, 84 days until I close what has been an incredibly exciting, three year, chapter of my life.

אוג’ 08′

I decided that as my going away present to those who I work with, I’m making a CD of songs that I’ve listened to on repeat during certain periods of my army career (like the song I listened to on my draft day, the songs I listened to during basic training, during my NCO course, etc.). Above is the CD cover I made. I like it because the symbol for the IDF Ground Forces Command is behind me, as I’m moving forward, and the symbol of the Education & Youth Corps on my beret is in the forefront moving forward towards the future.

“I could never get the hang of Thursdays…”

Last Wednesday I was a couple of blocks away from the explosion in Jerusalem. Due to one of those weird turns of fate (or, grace of God if you prefer) I wasn’t there. Earlier in the day I had planned to finish what I was doing and either visit my friend in Ma’aleh Adumim or return to Tel Aviv and work from HQ. I had decided I was going to go back to HQ, so I called my friend in Ma’aleh Adumim and canceled. Then, for some reason, I decided to let work go for awhile (something I rarely do) and decided to continue on a tour with my friends instead. I called my commander and he had no problem with it, so off we went.

Had I went to Ma’aleh Adumim, I’d have been at that bus stop and around the time the bomb exploded. Had I decided to return to Tel Aviv, my bus would have dropped me off at the bus stop at around the time the bomb exploded. I’ll talk more about rockets and bombs and things in my travelogue (which I hope to be putting out tonight, since it’s 8 months due) so I’ll save you all the x-posting.

Job Hunting, Dating, The Real World

I’m incredibly excited to be moving forward with my education and my career…I’m chomping at the bit at this point. I’m really attempting (and hopeful) that I’ll be able to finish all of the training that I need to get a good start on the professional portion of my career (when I’ll actually be doing field work, instead of learning about it) within the next seven years…which would put me at 32, which for an academic and field linguist isn’t such a bad starting age.

Dating is something I’m looking forward to as well, though I’m also slightly cringing at the prospect at the same time. I’m not exactly the easiest person to date: I’m intense, active, slightly to moderately weird and sometimes people find it hard to keep up. I also need someone who I find interesting, who is equally (or more active) and who holds my attention.

I understand that dating isn’t easy, across any age range or sexuality…the whole kissing frogs until finding the handsome prince thing, but there has got to be an easier way than constantly going on dates. I may try speed dating (…gay Jewish speed dating?)…we’ll see. I am looking forward to getting back out there though…if nothing else, for the stand up material.

More later. Now, time for coffee and the travelogue.

Transition

moocowinthecity 2011-03-21 No Comments

I am tired, exhausted, getting ready to move to yet another city (I’ve lived in Zichron Ya’akov, Kibbutz Ma’agan Michael, Tel Aviv, Kibbutz Zikim, Ashdod and as of next week Jerusalem in what amounts to a glorified hostel), behind on emails, lacking any and all energy, overloaded with work, burdened with training a new commander, his deputy (since she’ll be taking over for me since I’m not signing contract) while also training (and in some cases re-training) three soldiers…lacking nutritionally satisfying food, attempting to not panic about the work situation in the US, refreshing my inbox and waiting for a letter to come to say I’ve been accepted into the M.A. program, waiting to hear back from the Plainview Volunteer Fire Department in the hopes that I’ve been accepted as a volunteer so I don’t have to pay to be an EMT, am both excited and slightly bummed that the next round of EMT training I can do will be in September, I was hoping for August, am reflective on my army service and slightly sad that I wasn’t really able to do what I wanted over the past three years, proud however that I gave the army what it needed and always did my best, overjoyed that I got to become an NCO and a specialist…because if nothing else five of the six guys I was on course with became my brothers and literally made my entire army experience, sad that I’m not leaving the army as an officer despite having letters of recommendation from two of the former commanders of the officers school and recommendations from a half dozen people, including Lt. Colonels…all because one very small man stood in my way and didn’t want me to leave, which wound up with me leaving anyway,  but happy because this entire experience stopped me from making the terrible mistake of ever wanting to work in an office environment because if I’ve learned anything over these past three years it’s that I fucking hate working in an office…and need to be doing fieldwork…happy I got to build the first Ground Forces Wide ESL program, sad that there’s no one to continue it…and just a mixture of a hundred other emotions that I know will hit into a brick wall on June 19, 2011 at around 14:00hrs when I once again become a civilian…and my days filled with missions, important phone calls around the world, constantly keeping up training to do emergency evacuations and a dozen other things will, with the snap of a finger, become totally irrelevant…and the only thing I’ll be doing in July is re-integrating and relaxing…and de-stressing…and much like the small steps necessary to achieve anything in life, August I will find a job, September I will enter the EMT program and October I will enter the M.A. program…and hopefully by November I’ll at least back on the dating scene because it’s been too long and life is too short.

Transition

moocowinthecity 2011-03-21 No Comments

I am tired, exhausted, getting ready to move to yet another city (I’ve lived in Zichron Ya’akov, Kibbutz Ma’agan Michael, Tel Aviv, Kibbutz Zikim, Ashdod and as of next week Jerusalem in what amounts to a glorified hostel), behind on emails, lacking any and all energy, overloaded with work, burdened with training a new commander, his deputy (since she’ll be taking over for me since I’m not signing contract) while also training (and in some cases re-training) three soldiers…lacking nutritionally satisfying food, attempting to not panic about the work situation in the US, refreshing my inbox and waiting for a letter to come to say I’ve been accepted into the M.A. program, waiting to hear back from the Plainview Volunteer Fire Department in the hopes that I’ve been accepted as a volunteer so I don’t have to pay to be an EMT, am both excited and slightly bummed that the next round of EMT training I can do will be in September, I was hoping for August, am reflective on my army service and slightly sad that I wasn’t really able to do what I wanted over the past three years, proud however that I gave the army what it needed and always did my best, overjoyed that I got to become an NCO and a specialist…because if nothing else five of the six guys I was on course with became my brothers and literally made my entire army experience, sad that I’m not leaving the army as an officer despite having letters of recommendation from two of the former commanders of the officers school and recommendations from a half dozen people, including Lt. Colonels…all because one very small man stood in my way and didn’t want me to leave, which wound up with me leaving anyway,  but happy because this entire experience stopped me from making the terrible mistake of ever wanting to work in an office environment because if I’ve learned anything over these past three years it’s that I fucking hate working in an office…and need to be doing fieldwork…happy I got to build the first Ground Forces Wide ESL program, sad that there’s no one to continue it…and just a mixture of a hundred other emotions that I know will hit into a brick wall on June 19, 2011 at around 14:00hrs when I once again become a civilian…and my days filled with missions, important phone calls around the world, constantly keeping up training to do emergency evacuations and a dozen other things will, with the snap of a finger, become totally irrelevant…and the only thing I’ll be doing in July is re-integrating and relaxing…and de-stressing…and much like the small steps necessary to achieve anything in life, August I will find a job, September I will enter the EMT program and October I will enter the M.A. program…and hopefully by November I’ll at least back on the dating scene because it’s been too long and life is too short.