Subject: In which I get a rental storage place…and complete the 12 herculean tasks…
Date: Friday 4/11/03 5:51:00 PM
Music: The Girl Gets Around — Footloose — 15th Anniversary CD
Okay…this is going to try to best reconstruct the order of events that allowed me to finally get a storage place, this is almost word for word, and in the proper order, for the record, I don’t think that this woman should be allowed to raise children. The following took an hour and a half to complete…it was slow…and painful.
-=A Few Days Ago=-
[Telephone can be heard ringing in the background, Matthew is hard at work in the dark room at the ungodly hour of 9am, recently he’s been getting up at 7:30 and coming back to the dorms at midnight to keep up with a good average]
Matan:
answering cell phone: “hello”
Storage People:
“Hi, you’re going to need to come over today to sign the contract”
Matan:
I’m sorry, I said I’d be there the 18th, when I registered online
Storage Place:
Listen, we’re going out of our way here for you
Matan:
I’m sorry, I’m currently working from 7:30AM to 12:00AM, when do you want me to get there, and did I not mention to you last time we spoke that I don’t have a car?
Storage Place:
We’re really going out on a limb here
Matan:
I’ll be there on the 16th ::hangs up phone angrily::
-=Today=-
Matthew, Eric & Tim arrive at the storage place, Matan gets out of the car, and notices that the person is ‘on break’ by the locked door an sign in the window, after much waiting, the lady gets there.
Matan Enters the storage office:
Matan:
Hi, I’m the hard to reach Matan, I’m here to sign the contract
Paula:
Oh hi, yes, let me check the computer [checks the computer] oh shoot, it appears that the computer has deleted your reservation, see, you’re allowed to reserve it for 30 days online, but our computer deletes reservations after 7 days, so let me see what I can do
Matan:
[stunned] umm…okay
Paula:
This is a new system, and I’ve only gotten to use it for two days
Matan:
[sigh] okay
Paula:
[enters information as slow as humanly possible]
Matan:
[goes and picks out a military grade lock that can survive a shell attack]
Paula:
Okay, why don’t we go check out the unit
Matan:
[to himself: this is NOT like buying a house, I don’t care what it looks like] “Okay”
Matan & Paula look at the unit for 3 seconds and walk the 3 minutes back to the office
Paula:
Okay, you’ll need to fill out all of these forms
Matan:
Okay ::goes to sign and READ all the forms::
Paula:
I like people who are smart and meticulous like you are
Matan:
Okay, I’m also going to need the form over there ::points:: to set up monthly billing
Matan continues to read and sign forms, and then asks for copies. Paula goes to the fax machine and makes a copy of the credit card form
Paula:
Okay, now we’ll need you to sign this contract, I’ll just initial the first page of yours
Matan:
I’m sorry, you’re going to have to initial all of them
Paula:
::sighs loudly:: okay
Paula goes to inital all the pages
Matan:
[reading and initalling contract] I’m going to need a copy of this
Paula:
I gave you a copy
Matan:
Yes, but I need a copy of the one that my signature is on, that will be on file here, becase I coud print out the one I have at home, and it won’t stand up in court, if I ever have to bring it to arbitration
Paula:
You’re being difficult
Matan:
I’m going to need a copy of this
Paula:
I don’t understand, its a fax copy, are fax copies legal?
Matan:
It could be copied on a ditto machine, so long as it’s copied.
Paula:
This is too much, are you a law student?
Matan:
[bullshitting] I’m a studio arts major, about to do media law, I’m going to need a copy
Paula:
::Sighs loudly again:: okay ::goes to make a copy:: I like people who are meticulous like you
Matan:
[thinking to himself: yeah…right]
Paula:
Oh shoot! I forgot to check the box for autopayment
[note: this now will cause 30 more minutes of pain for Matan, when he’s asked to go on the other side of the desk, and do this on the computer for Paula.]
Matan Fixes the Issue
Paula:
Okay, now here’s your code, go put the lock on your storage unit
Matan Exits and goes to open the gate – which won’t open with his code
Matan re-enters the sales office
Matan:
My code won’t work
Paula:
Oh…I forgot, we’re missing the piece that connects the computer to the gate, you’ll need to use his temporary code instead
Paula thanks Matan, informs him of how she likes smart college students and wishes everyone was like Matan, Matan exits, places the lock on his locker and winds up twitching more than he normally does
moocowinthecity