Perpetual Studenthood

PCN Reflection

Sharing here the reflection I shared with my DSW program on the use of professional collaboration networks, in response to a request by Dr. Michelle FK

The Professional Collaboration Network is, at least in theory, a sound tool to gain feedback and input. It sounds nice to have a network of experts who can help guide someone through a doctoral process in which experts may not exist within the School of Social Work. My takeaways from this practice, as I experienced it in this doctoral program, and as I have noted in last semester’s reflection and will reiterate here, are entirely negative.

I have found that, in practice, the PCN process as implemented in our program is one that is – while well intentioned – deeply flawed, borderline unethical and not at all worth the effort that was put into it: by the faculty or the students.

The first take away is that Implementation Mapping, and I would venture to say most (if not all) implementation models and frameworks require the inclusion of stakeholders voices (Eldredge et al., 2016). Full stop. This makes the PCN entirely redundant. Redundancy is wasted time, and wasted time is wasted money.

As I mentioned in my reflection for SW633: the PCN cannot replace a formal implementation team. PCN members do not have the training or knowledge to do so. They are experts in their various fields, not in implementation science. Moreso, they are not (necessarily) experts in the areas of research that we are conducting (on top of the implementation process we are working through). Those of us who plan to use our DSW for its intended purposes will not need, nor ever use a PCN when those of us (myself included) venture out to be implementation scientists in the world. We will include all of those who ought to be included because it is part and parcel of the implementation process. Additionally, those of us who cleave to the principles of trauma-informed care (Butler et al., 2019; Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMSHA), 2014) would do this anyway.

Students worked to develop a robust PCN at the very start of the program before we – as doctoral students– really had any idea how they would be helpful. This means that I developed a PCN of over 30 people who were ready, and willing to help me…and who mostly had nothing to do but provide blips and drops of feedback as they could. Additionally, the continued use of twitter immediately became untenable with the takeover by Elon Musk.

My impression was that the doctoral program was equallyat a loss to explain exactly how the PCN should be appropriately utilized. I remained hopeful, and yet the class on engaging the PCN in our second year was an effort in futility. I have – never – had a class that I could not find one redeeming morsel of information in until this course. Not once. Not during my BA, my two masters, this doctoral program, or the entirety of my military training and education (which is nearly as extensive as my academic career).

It is clear, upon reflection, that the PCN came about from an academic perspective. This perspective, as it relates to the DSW program and cohort is terribly problematic. All of us in the DSW, with the exception of one of my colleagues, are professionals who work (primarily) outside of Academia. Academia should not have been the guiding light of this program (which seeks to reduce the research to practice gap that has been created by academia). Rather, business, workers collectives, and other lenses should have been used.

Had a literature review been conducted before swallowing the concept of PCN wholesale, the existence of Business Information Networks (BINs) would have – or should have – been clearly evident. Business Information Networks (see: https://www.bni.com; http://BINLI.org; and others) are small groups of working professionals, working in different fields, who meet regularly and who provide one another with leads, resources, information, and support.

It is done in a way that is ethical (from a business perspective) where everyone contributes to the other in a pragmatic, definable fashion, and where no one asks someone else to provide labor that goes uncompensated.

The “I’ll help you, if you help me” quid-pro-quo that exists in academia has subtle payoffs (authorship, potential use for tenure). It carries no water or weight in the clinical, consulting, or corporate worlds in which I exist and function. I would argue that it is also exploitative of professors as well, but I will leave that to the halls of the academy to address.

I found the process distressing, angering, annoying, frustrating, and generally a barrier to conducting my work. It was not a feature, but rather a bug of the program. I will do everything I can, as an Alumni, to help the school remove this deleterious component of the program.

References

Butler, L. D., Critelli, F. M., & Carello, J. (2019). Trauma and human rights integrating approaches to address human suffering. Springer International Publishing.

Eldredge, L. K. B., Markham, C. M., Ruiter, R. A. C., Fernández, M. E., Kok, G., & Parcel, G. S. (2016). Planning health promotion programs: An intervention mapping approach (4th edition [Kindle]). Jossey-Bass.

Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMSHA). (2014). Trauma-informed approach and trauma specific interventions.https://www.samhsa.gov/nctic/trauma-interventions

Getting back into daily/nightly blogging

I’ve had this blog for over 21 years (in a variety of iterations). One of the things that I used to do throughout high school, and undergrad, was blog – at least nightly, if not a few times during the day. I like using my blog as a space to gather my thoughts, concerns, ideas, fears, worries, inspiration, etc…so that they don’t tale up residence in my head.

Sometimes I may write something important…rarely profound…mostly mundane (but human) as to the inner workings of my mind, and my life.

I had to stop for quite a few years (at least publicly) when I was in the IDF (the Intelligence Corps, and InfoSec took that kind of stuff quite seriously). Now that, in so many ways, my life is my own again (no longer in the IDF, no longer in graduate school) and I transition into my young adulthoold (turning 40 in a few years) I want to make sure that I return to this habit, and bring it foreward with me.

I like being able to look back to a random post, or investigate how I handled (or perceived) a situation years ago. I’ve gotten a lot of insight into my life, and even things that happened in my family that, while they didn’t make sense at the time, with the benefit of hindsight I understand ten or fifteen years later.

Today was spent seeing patients and resting, and I finally got a handle on cleaning my bedroom. I’ve been taking care to make sure that each area of the house has been clean…but sacrificing my bedroom as part of that mix…and finally, as we enter summer, I’m working to make sure that (come fall) my bedroom will be as comfy as possible for the winter.

Tomorrow is Pride in Buffalo/Western New York, and I look forward to being in the parade with friends, followed by a union meeting (and some more cleaning). Workin to get caught up on last years finances this week (by next week at the latest)…I am amazed at how much was truly put on the backburner in order to finish my doctorate…I can only see it now that I’m able to take a few steps back and look at all the work that needs to be done.

Fortunately, it’s getting there…and with that, it’s time for bed (maybe some nighttime popcorn…definitely some nighttime popcorn), some cartoons, and then an audiobook.

Featured Image by Juan Agustín Correa Torrealba from Pixabay

Starting my Doctor of Social Work Degree & Reducing the Feedback Loop

Today was the first day of DSW orientation for what is going to be the second cohort of students (Class of 2023!) for the UB School of Social Work’s Doctor of Social Work Program in Social Welfare & Implementation Science. A forward thinking program working to bridge the gap between agencies and universities in order to reduce the time between when research is conducted and when research is implemented in the field.

It was wonderful to meet my colleagues virtually (while I would have loved to have met them IRL, social distancing and safety remain paramount as we continue to battle COVID-19). I live in University Heights and work one minute from my house in the same zip-code on the East Side. University Heights and my workplace share a zip-code of 14215. Presently, and throughout the pandemic, the 14215 has had some of the highest infection rates in the City of Buffalo.

I don’t think it’s hyperbole to say that a few capstone projects are likely going to be on implementing interventions during pandemics. I couldn’t help but reflect on what it means to be starting now, in this context, in this background, in this zip-code, in this 2020 reality of the United States.

So what is my DSW, what exactly am I studying, and why?

Currently it’s estimated that it takes around ten years for completed research to be implemented in the field. This means that once initial research has hit the ground running (…ten years later…) that a feedback loop has to be created between the universities and researchers who can study it further and the agencies who are implementing it.

The researchers need to find out if their interventions are effective, if they’re applicable to other groups (have they only been studied on one kind of group, or one kind of condition?), and what (if any) changes can, or need to be made for them to be transferable…and then we wait even longer for more research to be done, that research to be disseminated back to the field and implemented again, and feedback sent back to the universities (and round and round and round we go).

My cohort, and the cohort before us…and those that are going to come after us, are about to change all of that. We’re working to reduce that feedback loop, to make it more efficient, and to work to understand systemic barriers that agencies, and workers face, along with the populations that they serve. We also want to reduce the barriers that researchers have, in order to shorten bridges and close gaps. While we do this, we conduct our own research into the best ways of implementing new evidence based practices, science, and technologies into the field so that they can be deployed as safely and as rapidly as possible.

What can we do to make sure agencies and workers remain on top of cutting edge information and technology while understanding the realities they face in their day-to-day lives? How do we help researchers design methods that take into account better the realities of the field, so that they can receive more accurate data? How do we make that feedback loop into weeks or months instead of a decade? A lofty goal, but a necessary one as we move past 2020 and into the future.

I am beyond excited. I took a lot of notes in my BuJo today; I would say that most of them were some inspirational, in the moment quotes, from our professors (and others were resources, and just good information to have). I need to now process that, and this moment.

Welcome to UB Class of 2023!

Why I Don’t Answer The Phone: Lessons on Sacred Space, Self Care & Executive Functioning

If you try to call me at my office, you’ll immediately get a voicemail asking you to leave a message and telling you that I’ll call you back (and offering you hotline numbers to call if you’re in crisis). If you call me at home, you’ll soon find that, almost magically, my phone there also goes to voicemail. No call screening, no maybe I’ll pick up, just a very matter of fact this is what my friends, family, loved ones and clients all know to expect. I don’t even hear my phone ring…I don’t want to hear my phone ring, and I don’t need to hear my phone ring. This is not because I’m antisocial (far from it) but because I’ve determined where my sacred spaces are, created boundaries for my own self care, and established what I require for my own executive functioning needs. I also don’t immediately respond to text messages, but respond to them as I can, and as the appropriate time and spaces allow and present themselves.

Sacred Space:
I take my practice of Social Work seriously. For me, while I work with people across all faith traditions (or no faith traditions at all), I am a social worker because it is the truest expression of my personal faith – to be a part of the Tikkun Olam, the healing of the world. In that light, my office is a sacred space, and one in which I wish to give my fullest attention to the work that I do while I am there on behalf of my clients. While I would never answer a phone during a session (nor would a client ever hear one ring)! I also don’t want to be distracted by a phone while writing reports, or case notes, or conducting research. It is far easier for me to schedule a time to call people back (which we’ll get to in the executive functioning section in a moment).

My home is also a sacred space. It is where I unwind, where I connect with my friends and loved ones, and my furry children. Judaism treats the home in a very special way, and I work to ensure that harmony always exists there as best I can. Part of the way I do this is by ensuring that my home is always a sacred space, with as few disturbances as possible (and a doorbell that is easily turned off to further support this cause). Visitors are always planned for, peace and quiet reign.

Self Care:
In a previous post, I took some exception to some popular memes that were going around about always being available to others. Simply put: I’m not (and I don’t think most people are, have the capacity to be, or should be). I have Rheumatoid Arthritis, and Fibromyalgia. In order to ethically practice Social Work I need to make sure that I have the energy to do so, so that I can be mindful and present for my clients. Part of the way that I am able to do that is by being aware of, and managing my energy. If I allow others to dictate my availability, I place my energy and its consumption in the hands of others. Rather than the immediate communications that have been forced upon us by today’s technology, I have made the choice to instead interact with messages differently; treating phone calls and texts and PMs and IMs and DMs as if they were letters delivered by the Pony Express…and I try to give them the thought, and consideration, and the meaningful answers they deserve as well, in the form of what I hope is an equitable trade of for those who are sometimes frustrated at the lack of instant gratification (not that I think that anyone is entitled to make the demand, but I at least want to validate the frustration).

And, truthfully, you don’t need me right now, this very instant! You have coping skills – a lifetime of them – that have allowed you to reach this very moment in time without me…a few moments more won’t be that intolerable.

Executive Functioning:
Finally: part of mastering the effects of Rheumatoid Arthritis and Fibromyalgia are learning its impacts on my executive functioning. Many of us have something that impacts our executive functioning. By learning to reject the fear of missing out (FOMO) that comes with not answering my phone, I have the privilege  of listening to a message, triaging it, looking up any information I need to in order to respond to it, scheduling a time to call back, and giving it the thought that it deserves. I also no longer deal with spam calls and robo calls that would intrude on my day, make me forget what I was doing, and interrupt my thought process. I am able to guard against what would otherwise impact my executive functioning.

So please, give yourself permission to disconnect in ways that are meaningful to you, and in ways that enhance your development as a person. Just because others choose to be connected all the time, doesn’t mean that you need to be always on. I dare say that you’ll find ways of being social and connected, even without running whenever a bell rings (pavlov would be proud).

Almost Awake

So I worked until about 2:30, 3am this morning, and didn’t fall asleep until 4pm 4am (I’ve had a weird sleep cycle recently between leg/body pain, fireworks, and Fibrofatigue, among others). So I’m almost ready to get back to writing…I need more food before that can happen though.

I’m also almost entirely done with my TEDx speech (so that’s cool). I hope to have my draft speech recorded tonight so my two coaches can look at it this week.

Anyway, in the next few hours I’ll have almost all of the coursework done for my Adult Interventions course, and then I can do readings for my addictions course, since I have a video conference for that this Thursday.

Cannot wait for this semester to end…so glad to be getting work done today!

These posts aren’t going to write themselves…

I’m almost done with the treatment plan for my Adult Interventions course…then I think I’ll try and finish doing all the remaining course posts for the semester. That will leave me with one other paper for Adult Interventions, which can be written this weekend after I collect a week’s worth of data. Then more papers. So many more papers. For now though, pasta. Because my brain requires carbs to continue.

Bitch & Moan

So first – I am so incredibly thankful for the WordPress iPhone App. I’d prefer to be at my desk writing right now, but my body’s on day 5 of a flareup and I spent most of the day sleeping, followed by a good few hours finishing a paper, and I just can’t sit at my desk anymore, and I can’t sit in a position in bed to use my laptop either, snd my arms are in too much pain to type, so I’m super glad this is an option. 

I was also about to self sensor and then realized: fuck it, it’s my blog, I can write, bitch, moan, and complain about whatever the fuck I want to here…that’s the whole fucking point.

So that said: I’m on day five of a flare up because my PT wanted to see my pain limits and levels (which was depressing in and of itself because it took ten minutes of barely and activity to fuck up five+ days of my life, and make absolutely everything miserable; I can’t even find a position to sit/exist in comfortably).

Adding this bullshit to my general level of pain and fatigue, I’m amazed I’ve gotten any work done at all. I keep on reminding myself I just have to get through this summer, and then it’s just field placement and two more courses (one class each semester) until graduation.

Fortunately, Akiva (my cat) is super snuggly, I have Netflix, and I’m almost done writing out my work schedule (including time built in for Fibromyalgia Fuckery) to get me through the rest of the summer courses.

One of the hardest things to get used to is forgiving yourself for not being able to do things/giving yourself permission to not check off everything on you to do list because your body just won’t let you.
It’s all a very shitty learning process. And right now it’s a shitty learning process where I can barely walk, everything hurts, and there’s no way of getting comfortable at all.

Sleep all day, work some of the night

So I slept all day (with minor breaks to get up and use the facilities, shove food in my mouth, take pills, and make a Skype call). I could easily go back to bed now. This isn’t fibro fatigue though, I don’t think. I am relatively sure this is just my usual reaction to antibiotics which for some reason usually make me tired. But if this somehow handles the IBS it’s worth it.

Anyway, going to do dishes, finish (I hope unpacking and organizing/cleaning the lady of my home office), do the one grad school assignment that has to get done this weekend (an introduction/about myself post) so I can watch the lectures on for addictions and the family tomorrow, so I can greet Monday mostly non-grumpy like.

Part of my long term/dealing with this shit strategy is super vigilance on keeping my house clean and organized, because if it’s done constantly as I go, and it’s never a thing I have to do as one big chore, that’s just one more spoon I get to save for something else.

From a mobility standpoint of course it makes things easier too. This isn’t to say the place had been a wreck, we’ve just been in the throes of unpacking for the past several months and now it *has* to get done.