moocow in the city

one cow. many pastures.

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Getting back into daily/nightly blogging

I’ve had this blog for over 21 years (in a variety of iterations). One of the things that I used to do throughout high school, and undergrad, was blog – at least nightly, if not a few times during the day. I like using my blog as a space to gather my thoughts, concerns, ideas, fears, worries, inspiration, etc…so that they don’t tale up residence in my head.

Sometimes I may write something important…rarely profound…mostly mundane (but human) as to the inner workings of my mind, and my life.

I had to stop for quite a few years (at least publicly) when I was in the IDF (the Intelligence Corps, and InfoSec took that kind of stuff quite seriously). Now that, in so many ways, my life is my own again (no longer in the IDF, no longer in graduate school) and I transition into my young adulthoold (turning 40 in a few years) I want to make sure that I return to this habit, and bring it foreward with me.

I like being able to look back to a random post, or investigate how I handled (or perceived) a situation years ago. I’ve gotten a lot of insight into my life, and even things that happened in my family that, while they didn’t make sense at the time, with the benefit of hindsight I understand ten or fifteen years later.

Today was spent seeing patients and resting, and I finally got a handle on cleaning my bedroom. I’ve been taking care to make sure that each area of the house has been clean…but sacrificing my bedroom as part of that mix…and finally, as we enter summer, I’m working to make sure that (come fall) my bedroom will be as comfy as possible for the winter.

Tomorrow is Pride in Buffalo/Western New York, and I look forward to being in the parade with friends, followed by a union meeting (and some more cleaning). Workin to get caught up on last years finances this week (by next week at the latest)…I am amazed at how much was truly put on the backburner in order to finish my doctorate…I can only see it now that I’m able to take a few steps back and look at all the work that needs to be done.

Fortunately, it’s getting there…and with that, it’s time for bed (maybe some nighttime popcorn…definitely some nighttime popcorn), some cartoons, and then an audiobook.

Featured Image by Juan Agustín Correa Torrealba from Pixabay

Blog Data

Okay, all 2,962 blog posts, spanning 21 some-odd-years are now centralized and restored in one place, and now also backed up in a few different clouds! https://t.co/Cx9bQK7uzU #Blog #LiveJournal #WordPress #Blogger

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Amazed

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Amazed

I am always amazed that the ‘master race’  – with all its flannel bravado – seems to think that us queer folks are weak.

As if we didn’t grow up in New York or Appalachia or Louisiana alongside you. As if we haven’t served in every war since humans began walking upright and out of their caves. As if we haven’t been steel and rig workers. As if we haven’t worked alongside you on the farms and in the coal mines. As if proficiency in wearing high heels and field stripping an M16 are mutually exclusive things.

We are not, have not been, and will not be afraid of you. We know you so much better than you can ever hope to know us. We are your daughters and sons. Brothers and sisters. We infiltrated you at our birth. We have been watching and learning from you for as many years as we have walked this Earth. We know your tactics. We know the size of your forces. We know you.

For every song lamenting the loss of ‘real men’ and their pickup trucks, there’s a dozen of you scared to go into a drag club, to shop in Harlem, to welcome in refugees, and to heal the sick…hundreds who wouldn’t recognize your Jesus Christ if he asked you personally to crawl through the eye of the needle to escape your narrow and hateful worldview.

For each Bible that’s come crashing down on our heads there are a dozen success stories of our people who made it against the odds, who have found love and community and happiness. We’re as tough as our full set of acrylic nails. We’ve had to be.

Go ahead. Try and silence us. You can’t. We’re loud as fuck. Make our existence illegal all over again. History loves to repeat itself and we know how the history books will remember you. We also know how they will remember us. Try and arrest us. We’re good with bricks and fabulous with spray paint.

Be gay. Do crime. Expect us.

Header Image by kalhh from Pixabay.

Blog Updates

Excited to have consolidated and restored all of my blogs :-)

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I’ve been blogging since I was in High School 🙂 I’m glad to have been able to restore almost all of my blog posts from various hosts, and to centralize them here. I look forward to continuing my writing now that everything is centralized. I am thankful also for backups, especially given how many travels I’ve had, and how many computer meltdowns/crashes (well before cloud computing was a thing). The journey through the written word is just as important as through graphic design and art. I look forward to exploring the juxtaposition of both here.

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Bitch & Moan

So first – I am so incredibly thankful for the WordPress iPhone App. I’d prefer to be at my desk writing right now, but my body’s on day 5 of a flareup and I spent most of the day sleeping, followed by a good few hours finishing a paper, and I just can’t sit at my desk anymore, and I can’t sit in a position in bed to use my laptop either, snd my arms are in too much pain to type, so I’m super glad this is an option. 

I was also about to self sensor and then realized: fuck it, it’s my blog, I can write, bitch, moan, and complain about whatever the fuck I want to here…that’s the whole fucking point.

So that said: I’m on day five of a flare up because my PT wanted to see my pain limits and levels (which was depressing in and of itself because it took ten minutes of barely and activity to fuck up five+ days of my life, and make absolutely everything miserable; I can’t even find a position to sit/exist in comfortably).

Adding this bullshit to my general level of pain and fatigue, I’m amazed I’ve gotten any work done at all. I keep on reminding myself I just have to get through this summer, and then it’s just field placement and two more courses (one class each semester) until graduation.

Fortunately, Akiva (my cat) is super snuggly, I have Netflix, and I’m almost done writing out my work schedule (including time built in for Fibromyalgia Fuckery) to get me through the rest of the summer courses.

One of the hardest things to get used to is forgiving yourself for not being able to do things/giving yourself permission to not check off everything on you to do list because your body just won’t let you.
It’s all a very shitty learning process. And right now it’s a shitty learning process where I can barely walk, everything hurts, and there’s no way of getting comfortable at all.

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