Apparently Jesus/Satan/Angels Get Pissed When Defriended…Who Knew?

Okay, so this guy friended me on facebook awhile back. I thought he was a bit weird but chalked it up to language differences. He asked to volunteer on my Kibbutz. My Kibbutz hasn’t taken volunteers in years (they can be hard to handle and require lots of patience and usually an ulpan or two).

I checked around and sent him a phone number of the person he could contact if the kibbutz decided to let him volunteer. Apparently this person didn’t answer his phone/respond to him fast enough (…welcome to Israel…). I also didn’t respond to him fast enough (but you know, I have this thing called real life that gets in the way of dealing with psychopaths on facebook).

Anway, he sent me the following message (links to EncyclopediaDramatica are added by me for comedic effect):

matan hi.
if i hear nothing by monday either from you or illan i will go down official channels and be placed at a kibbutz of there choice. this would be a loss to you and ilan both.
as you probably noticed from my profile i have the ear of the father and have many special gifts.
i tend to go were i am needed and were i am wonted. and from ilan s point of view i am not getting that.

hope all is in hand.

if i do not come to zikiem then i will conatct you from the other kibbutz i will go to. if your kibbutz turns its back on me i will turn my back on it. that is not good for a living angel to do.

i feel you know this.

speak soon

Now, I’m busy and I only live on the Kibbutz (I’m not a member) which means I can’t help him…and Ilan is a Kibbutznik which means he may or may not answer his phone in between coffee and he’s busy. The guy who wrote the email doesn’t seem to speak a whole lot of English and I doubt he speaks Hebrew. I don’t respond to trolls or to threats and so I promptly deleted him and blocked him (or I thought I did).

I received the following message today:

you delete me YOU !!!!!
i am angry beyond. do you realise i was willing to give you a chance matan. being gay is an abomination to me and the one god. i would of saved you. you take your one chance away. because of your inselonce i will now turn my back on your entire family right back down to existence. you kill them all.
when i come to isreal matan it will be time. DO YOU UNDERSTAND !!!!!!
you jews….my people are a disgrace. you believe you are so much better than all things but in my eyes you are worse. i come to set my house in order. i start with you.
all things end matan and i come to end it…..
you silly little boy….
i will never see you again……
the next time you see my face it will be in the fires of hell……
tell all jews i am coming….( your soul will pass it on its an order )

you could of been the one to invite me home….to my land…how does it feel….???

when you read this i am going to drain you of 99 % of your life force. the other .1 % i will do in person.

goodbye matan

The fires of hell…yeah, okay…first he needs to decide if he’s Jesus or Satan or an Angel and then he can get back to me. I reported him on facebook and I’ll send an email to the Jewish Agency to look out for his name in case he starts applying to be on a Kibbutz…oh, and I’d hope that Jesus/Satan/Angel would know how to spell “Israel.” Also, in one of his earlier emails he wanted to know if dialing our number was different than dialing a number in Europe…I’m under the impression that a deity (heaven, hell or otherwise) is supposed to have more brains.

False prophet say what…