September 26, 2017

Adults Have Kids (or The Wisdom of Not Always Being Placed Where We Want)

I am not a kid person. I general I dislike having to deal with any children that are not my Godson, or any of my adopted nieces and nephews. In fact, when I adopted my cat they said “you need to be warned, she doesn’t like loud noises or children” and my response was “perfect, we’ll get along just fine!”

Entering the MSW program in my 30’s I had a relatively good idea of where and what I wanted my future Social Work practice to look like (or at least I thought I did: it’s expanded tremendously as I went through my program, though the general idea has largely stayed the same).

So last year, for my first field placement, I indicated on my placement request form that I was looking for an adult population, in a clinical setting…and my Field Placement office met me half way: I would have one day a week doing Solutions-Focused Brief Therapy at a Family Solutions Center (so adults would be involved…but so would their children…).

I said “Okay…”

Then the other shoe fell: I would be spending my other day a week doing School Social Work.

I was (initially) a little disappointed. I was super excited at having the opportunity to do some clinical work…but…School Social Work? Children? Teachers? Parents? PTA? Soccer Moms (and Dads)? Why would I – a soon to be Social Worker working with adult clients – need to do any of that? How was that at all relevant to my future practice!?

Because. Adults. Have. Children. You. Doorknob (I say to myself, now…older and wiser…)!

…and sometimes it is absolutely critical that we learn how to interact with populations that we are uncomfortable or dislike working with, because our clients (and our code of ethics) require us to do so…and it was one of the world’s most amazing experiences.

I learned Theraplay and I learned how to work with children and their families. I learned how to work with parents and guardians. I learned how to interact with CPS. I learned how to liaise between administrators, teachers, parents, and students. I learned about the incredible developing minds of Kindergartners, First, and Second Graders…and how they can explode cartons of chocolate milk with only their eyes (sort of like…Darth Vader). I learned how to elicit information (and the truth) from unwilling children, and how to play games while at the same time conducting counselling sessions. I learned how to effectively advocate for my students’ needs. I learned a lot about myself. I also learned about the incredibly important role of public schools within a community, and why I think they need to be protected and cherished at all costs.

Now, as I complete the last 8 months of my MSW program, and I am in the Field Placement of my dreams, and I interact and work with adults as a Domestic Violence Counselor as part of my day job, I am extraordinarily thankful that my first field placement forced me to grow and stretch my boundaries as a Social Worker…because while day-to-day I get to work with my “ideal” populations, I also know that if I need to work with children I can, and because I had this incredible experience, with incredible mentorship, guidance, and supervision, I know I can do so effectively. 

My first field placement gave me the gift of expanding my toolkit, which can only benefit my clients…so if I client tells me that they’re having concerns at home…and they’re an adult…and they have children, I can have them bring their kids into the office and I know that I have the training and the experience to work with that client and their family as a whole…and I would have never had that if I had my “ideal” field placement for my foundation year.

…I also wouldn’t be working as a Domestic Violence Counselor either with my incredible team at my incredible place of employment…so if you’re a student working your way through an MSW program, work with your Field Placement Office…and trust them (at least a little bit)…they may not give you what you want your first go round, but odds are they may give you what you need.

 

Permission to Nuke The Whales

One of the traps that I think some of my clients (and even myself, to be honest) can get caught up in is that generally we want to do the right thing, and that sometimes we want to do the right thing so much that it becomes deleterious to our overall well-being and daily functioning. I think this is especially true if one has a chronic disease, disability, condition, or illness.

For instance, if you have a disability that makes lifting and moving difficult, and you really want to recycle…but the act of recycling causes your kitchen to fill up with plastic bottles because you don’t have the physical strength or energy (or spoons) to bring the bags down on recycling day once a week (or once every other week)…and then you find yourself constantly falling over bags of recycling in your kitchen, then is recycling really your best option? In this case I advise my clients to give themselves permission to nuke the whales and throw the bottles out with their regular garbage.

Sometimes depression makes it hard to clean up the litter box. Who wants to use disposable litter trays? They’re bad for the Earth, it’s wasteful, you’re throwing out aluminum or plastic each week…all of that’s true. That said, a kitty litter box that’s overflowing is bad for a client’s health, can contribute to a greater feeling of depression (due to the smell/mess/’failure’ to take care of something), and the kitty won’t be happy either. So what’s better in this case? Personally, I think giving yourself permission to nuke the whales and go for the disposable kitty litter trays.

Reduce, Reuse, Recycle…always sound advice. Paper plates, plastic forks, spoons, and knives: who needs em? Just more petroleum based products in our landfills. However, if your chronic illness, disability, depression, mental illness has you living with a kitchen sink full of dishes all the time (which can bring with it bacteria, mold, or vermin)…and it’s easier to just throw out paper plates, plastic forks, spoons, and knives…and those disposable plates and utensils are what makes it possible for a client to have a clean living space (and feel better)…then it’s time to nuke the whales and stock up on disposable plastics.

There is a time and a place for environmental activism…there’s also a time and a place to remember that clients have every right to put themselves first, and it’s one of our goals – I believe – as Social Workers, to remind clients that they are allowed to take care of themselves first, that they are allowed to put their needs first, and that we can work together to help them find other ways of taking care of the environment (and even offsetting their adaptations/restrictions) so that nuking the whales can become a win-win situation…because our clients aren’t going to be healthy (or successful) if their own environments (remember PIE) aren’t inhabitable, let alone be able to worry or do anything about Mother Earth.

*Social Work Desk does not advocate nuking actual whales. Please do not do this. Looking at you, 45 & Kim Jong-un.