Dec. 25th, 2009
moocowinthecity Two Weeks Ago
Sunday was a usual Sunday, most of it was sent finishing my summary for the recent group of examinees.
Tuesday nights I teach in Tel Aviv. I taught and after I went to see Shirah. I went snack shopping for guard duty (which I was supposed to start at 0900 on Wednesday by picking up my rifle and then reporting in at 1600hrs to begin guarding).
Wednesday I arrived on base at 0843hrs and I went to my office, dropped some things off and headed to pick up my weapon. For whatever reason, security asked me when I last re-certified at the range (I was a bit shocked…mostly because I’m not used to the security office actually doing their job). I checked my firing card, turns out I’m two months expired. Shit.
In theory (very…very…very…theoretical theory) it’s our Company Sergeant Majors job to keep track of all this, since he has to find an officer to take us shooting every six months…but in neither in theory nor in practice does it work…
What those of you who are not in the IDF need to know is that the IDF uses words like CSM and Non Commissioned Officer in ways that make the US Army, Navy, Air Force and Marine Corps cringe…because they don’t mean the same things here that they do in the US (…or in any other army, anywhere)…and we’re an egalitarian army too…which means that the level of respect afforded to someone is almost entirely based on their position in the army and their thoughts on Bamba…not on their rank.
As I was saying…I went back to the base commander (who I was then sure would wonder why this ‘problem soldier’ keept coming to his office) and I explained to him the situation. He told me to find an officer in my branch who can take me shooting. I walk to find one. Turns out I have no officers in my branch who can take me shooting, they’re all busy. I walk back to the base commander. He tells me to call my direct commander (a Lt. Colonel) and have him come from HQ to take my shooting. I walk out of his office and call my commander, prefacing it with a “don’t shoot the messenger” and am promptly told that he has a meeting and can’t come and take me shooting (which I knew). I walked back to the Base Commanders office and explain the situation. He managed to find a driver to take me and another soldier to a basic training base and I’m told to find an officer there and have her see me let off five rounds and to call it a day!
Now…I have pins on my uniform…I have rank on my uniform…I am very much not in basic training…this, however, didn’t stop a low-level 2nd Lieutenant (who was pretty confused when we told her all she had to do was visually confirm that I shot five rounds) from flipping her shit when she realized I was carrying more than five bullets (whenever I’m walking around with an M16 I always have at least two clips on me)…after some explaining that no, I am not in fact in basic training, she demanded to call my commanding officer…I told her she was more than welcome to call the Lt. Colonel to let him know that I was – as I’m supposed to – carrying the requisite number of clips…she said that she’d rather just sign the form and wished us a good day.
So, back to base we went!
I was on “single patrol” (פטרול יחיד) on Wednesday night/Thursday morning. At around 0100hrs I heard something crash, so I called it in on the radio and waited with my M16 at the ready for an officer to come and check it out with me.
Sure enough, about two seconds after the officer arrived, a man dressed in black sweatpants and a black t-shirt comes out of a room. As 
stoicdaydreamer said, all he needed was a ski mask. As it turns out, he was a soldier (just out of uniform), who was on turn-duty that night to man a war room…he was lucky I didn’t shoot him on general principle.
That morning I did “Trampiada” where you make sure soldiers don’t hitchhike or get kidnapped, and then I was on rapid responder until noon. Fortunately, by 1300hrs I had returned my weapon and was comfortably back in my office.
Thursday night my commander and I were invited to take part in a Thanksgiving dinner by an American Lt. Colonel that we sometimes find ourselves working with and I was thankful to have the chance to enjoy some stuffing, traditional pumpkin dishes, and a festive holiday environment.
Friday night I crashed at Shirah’s apartment and woke up and made my way to Ashkelon in the early afternoon (I’ve had a cold that’s been following me so Jerusalem been postponed by a few weeks). As I was waiting for my bus a security worker came up to me and told me to move, there was a suspicious bag at the end of where I was sitting.
In Israel, you learn to never – ever – leave your bag or package somewhere unattended (not for lack of reason) and so I quickly complied.
What I found shocking was that some of the younger children were arguing with the security detail, and someone in their 20-30s tried to shove the police officer out of his way when attempting to find his bus (which wasn’t there, due to the bomb scare).
I noticed that crowds were building (since Sunday and Friday are notorious days for travel in Israel) and didn’t like that if something were to happen, there was lots of glass around (and metal poles that would make it difficult to leave). Taking a lesson from a family friend of ours, who’s father was a Marine, I kept my head down and made my way out – her father had seen quite a few guys not make it out because they wanted to see what was going on.
I called my Kibbutz and asked them when the next shuttle would be in Ahsqelon and was happy to hear that I only had to wait another hour. I made my way home and slept, woke up for dinner, came back and slept…and sleeping, resting, and drinking fluids is what I’ve been doing most of the weekend.
Last Week
So we’re currently in the budget planning phase, what this means is that I should have my answer soon as to whether or not we’ll receive the line item which will allow me to be promoted to an Academic Officer. If not, then in 1 year, six months, and 18 days I’ll be heading to teach High School in Israel while working on my masters degree. My teaching options are right now an offer to teach in Jerusalem, the potential to teach in Ashkelon, the
I am rediculously behind in email…I cannot wait to buy a desk this month so I can have a place to sit for more than five minutes that doesn’t send my back into fits while hunching over a keyboard.