2007

Why I Care That Dumbledore is Gay, by Matan

Okay, first I’ll throw this out here to address the argument that “why do gay people constantly have to flaunt their sexuality.”

Everyone else’s sexuality doesn’t have to be stated, because for the most part it’s implied. Implied by who they date, who they marry, who have they have children with, who they can kiss in public without having an uproar started, who they cast glances at (all of this covered in painful detail in the book, and in the epic amount of fan fiction that’s been written about the series).

The reason most of us care (perhaps, the majority, given the demographic that makes up most of the fandom) is because we’ve been in fandom for years (I used to belong to one of the larger sites admin-ing the chat room before we closed down and it was something I talked about, for the period of around four years, for most of my day…I was eating, sleeping, or talking Harry Potter). I’ve made life long friends (we’ve gone to their weddings, gone to their houses, celebrated life cycles, mourned passings, laughed and cried together). Overall, we’re excited because it gives us more to talk about, another reason (not that we need one) to re-read the entire series, more ways of writing other fan-fiction, exploring things that we previously didn’t think to explore…I was (and am) so into Harry Potter I went to another country for Book Six and sat around, and did nothing but read the book…in a room full of close friends who were doing nothing else, but reading the book and enjoying each others company.

As far as why it’s important for the Gay community? He’s a prominent figure in the book, is arguably one of the most influential reasons why evil doesn’t take over the earth (he founded the Order of the Phoenix) and is incredibly well educated – hallelujah we have a Gay Character that isn’t there for comedic effect or to die of AIDS breaking out of the usual archetype of Gay characters in the media…it’s about damn time…and oh, he’s not pedophile either (the third Archetype).

And knowing JKR, and knowing to what extent she researched her book (I did a 30 page paper on it and her, single spaced, when I was in High School some six-ish years ago and I could have written a few hundred pages more – and would have – if my teacher didn’t stop me). I highly doubt him being Gay was an afterthought…her Characters are personal for her so she may not have wanted to mention it publicly, but she certainly smiled about it privately while writing the book and certainly knew about this aspect of the character as she was laying pen to paper.

This isn’t a publicity stunt, she doesn’t need any more people to purchase her book – she has more money than the Queen – and there’s only so much you can earn a day before it really just doesn’t matter anymore…there’s volumes of books that can be written about each characters back story, their upbringing, their families…she’s created a world like many other literary greats before her (Tolkien, etc) and those worlds have the ability to have infinite numbers of pages dedicated to them…so we’re excited to have one more thing to discuss and to debate, and to banter about over beer with friends.

…though personally, I was hoping it was Sirius…oh man, oh man…why couldn’t it have been Sirius?

Lesson Plans…

…I’m almost done writing my lesson plan for Tomorrow…then it gets reviewed…and then I have to use it for my Practicum…I haven’t written a lesson plan since I taught Kindergarten for my Internship requirement for the Applied Track in Linguistics, spring semester, of sophomore year. I’m almost done (…I think)…it just has to be up to Oxford Seminars standards or they get pissy…oy.

…I’m also operating on like, two hours of sleep…bed time…soon.

Lesson Plans…

…I’m almost done writing my lesson plan for Tomorrow…then it gets reviewed…and then I have to use it for my Practicum…I haven’t written a lesson plan since I taught Kindergarten for my Internship requirement for the Applied Track in Linguistics, spring semester, of sophomore year. I’m almost done (…I think)…it just has to be up to Oxford Seminars standards or they get pissy…oy.

…I’m also operating on like, two hours of sleep…bed time…soon.

Brief Grade Check in

Mid Terms:

Grammar & Lexicon: B.

Classical Tibetan: He wouldn’t give us our exact grades today, but I asked him about mine and he said that it’s higher than a B and bigger than a bread box…so anywhere from B+ to A-, with extra credit options to raise the grade.

…and those are the only courses with mid-terms.

Overall:

Dr. Jaeger’s course should be around a B+ to an A-
Wolf will be an A (I just have to finish this paper of doom)
TAing is going to be an A

In other words, I think I’m developing a slight crush on a pop star from Papua New Guinea, Oshen:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nOEBepuKKlc

…not my usual type, I know…there’s just something about him.

Brief Grade Check in

Mid Terms:

Grammar & Lexicon: B.

Classical Tibetan: He wouldn’t give us our exact grades today, but I asked him about mine and he said that it’s higher than a B and bigger than a bread box…so anywhere from B+ to A-, with extra credit options to raise the grade.

…and those are the only courses with mid-terms.

Overall:

Dr. Jaeger’s course should be around a B+ to an A-
Wolf will be an A (I just have to finish this paper of doom)
TAing is going to be an A

In other words, I think I’m developing a slight crush on a pop star from Papua New Guinea, Oshen:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nOEBepuKKlc

…not my usual type, I know…there’s just something about him.

It’s a blow job, a form, a paper, a lesson plan, a grant, a document all forming a tap dance…

Igama lami ’nkunzi emnyama My name is black bull
Yimi ’nkunzi emnyama I am black bull
Ngicitha amasoka I am the one who tests young men in love

~ Johnny Clegg & Savuka – Live Is Just a Dream

It seems to keep afloat I’ve mastered the art of tap dancing, through meetings, through the day, through work, through assignments, through working out, through paper writing…everything has turned into some kind of psychedelic whirlwind that blends in together…a dance where seconds and minutes and hours mean nothing as they fly by at rapid pace: writing, turning in, turning away, presenting, taking in, handing out and refereeing between adults and twenty somethings that behave like three year olds…I can’t recall what sleep actually feels like.

I’ve been in a perpetual state of ‘tired’ for two months and in between all this, between this dance of either getting work done or figuring out how to get it done there are brief interludes, momentary pleasures that begin with the smell of pheromones of aggressively and wonderfully strong and masculine men, the smell of alcohol gently trailing off their breathe and the smell of cologne and deodorant radiating from their bodies as they breath in and out as their hands make beautiful, passionate, hard contact with my body all ending with beads of sweat and tremors moving through me as I make phonemic ejectives and gluttoral noises of pleasure…

Of course then the guilt sets in rapidly after I realize how much time I ‘wasted’ because I haven’t yet perfected the level of multi-tasking necessary to coordinate expressing love, paying attention, making love, enjoying it and going through flash cards all at the same time…not that I really want to master that skill (somehow ‘harder, harder, harder…that’s a third column, second row, low tone, low aspiration Cha, yeah…hit me…harder, harder…okay let’s move onto spectrographs…yeah…keep moving like that…okay, the first formant…’ just doesn’t seem like a turn on for anyone).

So mostly I don’t feel like a human, and sadly that feeling won’t go away until the last day of classes on December 7th…though this kind of scheduling mistake is something I will never make again (and I have only myself to blame)…so I’m chalking it up as an important life lesson offered free from the School of Hard Knocks (pun possibly intended) and playing the cards that I’ve dealt myself.

During finals week I have to head down to Newark, NJ to go to the Garin Tzabar informational session (one of two that I’ll be attending in the United States, I’ll attend the others in Israel)…these are of course, conducted entirely in Hebrew…which means I really, really need to brush up on my Hebrew. Then I fly back up to Buffalo to finish the rest of finals and finish out my contract with Hillel. Then I fly back to NYC on December 21st and after one or two days I fly down to North Carolina to relax, then I’m back in New York for my last month in the States (January) which will be spent working out and exercising at the Krav Center near my house to finally return home to Israel on February 1st…I want to do nothing more than to get off the plane and kiss the ground at Ben Gurion. I want it so bad that I had a sex dream about it two days ago, where I dreamed that Vince and I ran into each other at El Al and we started getting into the heat of it then and there.

I can’t tell you how much I look forward to education, debate, and argument outside of the confines or grades: for no other reason but to come to an understanding…my grades are fine (if not wonderful)…but writing because you know that the way you write or investigate something will amount to an A is a much different motivation than arguing simply for answers.

My apartment, while a level 2.5 disaster area (down from a level 4 disaster area since the tentacle that was growing in my sink and I finally had it out the other day); is getting cleaned out even more…I just need someone to buy and take the last of my furniture so I’m left with nothing but clothing and food and a few books and my two duffel bags. Everything that’s too big to fit in my bag turns into something that holds back my movements, that inhibits my freedom, that keeps me one step away from my goal of ultimate mobility.

I look forward to the physical labor and the rigors of basic training…sadly UB has no areas for sparring, for weapons use (not guns – I have a rifle range I go to – but there is nowhere to just practice with anything Bo based), or boxing practice…and I don’t have the time in my day to go to the combined martial arts club…I need a 24 hour, full range, Gym to handle my stress levels…and since I don’t have that at the moment I’ve been putting myself through intense Pilate’s sessions, Special Forces Pushup and Ab Routines, Yoga…and averaging just enough sleep at night that my downstairs neighbors think I’m running a one man whore house upstairs as they look out the window to see if anyone’s leaving when I go to bed after the noise I generate each night (on nights when I get to go home).

My diet has moved to mostly vegetarian; I consume vegetables, fruit, v8 juice, water, tofu, carbs, and various sources of non-meat protein at such a rate that I’m startled I’m still loosing weight…fortunately, I’ve found a love of Soy…this isn’t so much a rage against the meat industry as it is a realization that I can bring fruits and vegetables with me, requiring far less prep time, more easily than I could bring meat and meat products that require more preparation and maintenance…no one looks sexy when they have mad cow disease or catch a food born illness.

Tonight I have Tibetan class and then I have to finish my lesson plan for the TESOL/TEFL/TESL Certification course; as well as Phonetics homework, and this weekend must be spent working on my independent study looking at India’s Educational Language Policy from 1929 and comparing it with 2007 in the hopes that I can complete my independent study ahead of time…of course, that has to occur after the TESOL/TEFL/TESL certification course which is from 9a-6p on Saturday and Sunday…

Only a few more weeks.

…and now, to get dinner, before Tibetan class, where I’ll get to study the language of the Lamas and stare at the hot lacrosse jock…then to Starbucks and then the Library for most of the night.