August 2007

Rendezvous

Rendezvous
Buffalo, New York
Matan Ar’ye Schwartz

Standing in the corner, drinking down my glass, I made love to the green fairy as her legs parted for me like the sea did for Moses when he raised his staff like I raised the one between my legs as I moved through her/I watched and I counted the tears of men as they fell to the floor like tiny glass shards breaking/blooming at the feet of boys who thought their stories were unique:a thousand lines said a thousand times before: I can be more dominant for you, I can be more submissive, I can do harder, I can do softer, just tell me what you want me to be and I’ll become it…just don’t make me be myself.

I learned a few things staring into the cocaine lined eyes of men peering out from underneath their fedoras:tasting vodka from their lips and nicotine from their breath: good boys date bad boys who date good girls and if you’re a good boy looking for a good boy who’s looking to have a good time you’re going home alone tonight:it’s the way of the hunt so don’t hate the player, hate the game.

So many people wanted to get their fifteen seconds hoping it’ll magically turn into a lifetime of love:the four letter word that’s so hard to define:we all think we know what it is until we get it and then we realize that we never knew it in the first place. But pretty people are like train wrecks just waiting to happen, drawn to one another, as they speed along the tracks that run up one arm and down the next we can’t help but stare as they wrap their muscles around their latest conquest as each one tells the other “this one’s the one” but we all know they’ll be back next week; a few more battle scars as I smile a coy smile watching this Zeffirelli play out like clock work each week before my eyes “Bartender, another drink if you will…I don’t think the nine-fifteen express is going to make it home tonight.”

And as for me? And as for me…I’ve danced with hundreds of bodies and I’ve moved like the ocean under a moon that no sailor would dare sail on:I’ve tasted the skin of a thousand shades, but you see, I’m different, I’ve never shed shards of glass ’cause we all know that bad boys love nothing more than good boys who break all the rules…I always get mine, we’ll see if tonight you get yours as you smile at me, feigning shock and look into my eyes before you shove me to turn me around and hit me playfully in the back of my head to tell me ever so gently that it’s time to get into the car as we once again return to our apartment as you carry me up the stairs and throw me on the bed and as smoke leaves your mouth, you lean in to whisper in my ear through lips still attached to a cigarette “you’ll get yours tonight all right…” as a stubbled chin rubs against my neck; and who knows how long we’ve known each other as days turned to weeks and weeks turned to months and months turned to years but who cares about details like titles and anniversaries when I’ve got your arms wrapping around me every night…I’ve got myself my bad boy and he’s got himself his good boy and we’re dancing a dance meeting each other like each night’s our first and making love like each night’s our last.

Rendezvous

Rendezvous
Buffalo, New York
Matan Ar’ye Schwartz

Standing in the corner, drinking down my glass, I made love to the green fairy as her legs parted for me like the sea did for Moses when he raised his staff like I raised the one between my legs as I moved through her/I watched and I counted the tears of men as they fell to the floor like tiny glass shards breaking/blooming at the feet of boys who thought their stories were unique:a thousand lines said a thousand times before: I can be more dominant for you, I can be more submissive, I can do harder, I can do softer, just tell me what you want me to be and I’ll become it…just don’t make me be myself.

I learned a few things staring into the cocaine lined eyes of men peering out from underneath their fedoras:tasting vodka from their lips and nicotine from their breath: good boys date bad boys who date good girls and if you’re a good boy looking for a good boy who’s looking to have a good time you’re going home alone tonight:it’s the way of the hunt so don’t hate the player, hate the game.

So many people wanted to get their fifteen seconds hoping it’ll magically turn into a lifetime of love:the four letter word that’s so hard to define:we all think we know what it is until we get it and then we realize that we never knew it in the first place. But pretty people are like train wrecks just waiting to happen, drawn to one another, as they speed along the tracks that run up one arm and down the next we can’t help but stare as they wrap their muscles around their latest conquest as each one tells the other “this one’s the one” but we all know they’ll be back next week; a few more battle scars as I smile a coy smile watching this Zeffirelli play out like clock work each week before my eyes “Bartender, another drink if you will…I don’t think the nine-fifteen express is going to make it home tonight.”

And as for me? And as for me…I’ve danced with hundreds of bodies and I’ve moved like the ocean under a moon that no sailor would dare sail on:I’ve tasted the skin of a thousand shades, but you see, I’m different, I’ve never shed shards of glass ’cause we all know that bad boys love nothing more than good boys who break all the rules…I always get mine, we’ll see if tonight you get yours as you smile at me, feigning shock and look into my eyes before you shove me to turn me around and hit me playfully in the back of my head to tell me ever so gently that it’s time to get into the car as we once again return to our apartment as you carry me up the stairs and throw me on the bed and as smoke leaves your mouth, you lean in to whisper in my ear through lips still attached to a cigarette “you’ll get yours tonight all right…” as a stubbled chin rubs against my neck; and who knows how long we’ve known each other as days turned to weeks and weeks turned to months and months turned to years but who cares about details like titles and anniversaries when I’ve got your arms wrapping around me every night…I’ve got myself my bad boy and he’s got himself his good boy and we’re dancing a dance meeting each other like each night’s our first and making love like each night’s our last.

No, I’m serious…I really DO love my Dog more than I love most other people…

Dog owners will agree with me; most of us really do love our dogs more than we love most other people. Our dogs don’t argue with us, when they do, they do so out of love (like, sitting in our suitcases so we won’t leave), they don’t argue about what’s for dinner, they’re ready to play whenever you are…and they’re ready to nap whenever you are…

The more I read Overheard in the Office and customers_suck, the more thankful I am that I will never be a cubicle monkey…sure, my ideal workplace involves areas like the Sudan…but really, I think we can all agree that having that as a career goal beats dealing with end users any day of the week.

No, I’m serious…I really DO love my Dog more than I love most other people…

Dog owners will agree with me; most of us really do love our dogs more than we love most other people. Our dogs don’t argue with us, when they do, they do so out of love (like, sitting in our suitcases so we won’t leave), they don’t argue about what’s for dinner, they’re ready to play whenever you are…and they’re ready to nap whenever you are…

The more I read Overheard in the Office and

customers_suck, the more thankful I am that I will never be a cubicle monkey…sure, my ideal workplace involves areas like the Sudan…but really, I think we can all agree that having that as a career goal beats dealing with end users any day of the week.

Some Clarifications & Other Things

Some Clarifications

In a previous post; I mentioned the white picket fence lifestyle; I use that merely as a title. I could have also used “1950s Revisionist Wannabes” or anything similar; the post is not meant to imply or state out right that people who live with white picket fences, or in suburban, or rural ares are any less cognizant or any less deep or introspective than those who do not; rather it was written about those who I find prescribe themselves to the lifestyle that is best illustrated in American Psycho that I was objecting to.

I know many people who live rurally (iolausian and felperland are perfect examples) who are deep, thoughtful, insightful and beyond brilliant and well educated. I apologize for the confusion (I’m just getting to go through my email now and I’ve gotten the two emails asking for clarification).

It’s something I plan on touching on again, at a later date and time.

Where I’m At

email: [email protected]
web: http://www.nomadmatan.net

JournalFen; nomadmatan
InsaneJournal nomadmatan
GreatestJournal: nomadmatan
MySpace: http://www.myspace.com/nomadmatan
DList: http://www.dlist.com/nomadmatan
FaceBook: Facebook me!

NomadMatan.net,.com,.org,.us,.info,.co.il

I’m honestly getting annoyed with LiveJournal recently…it’s not just the customer service (or lack thereof) or the fact that barakb25 looks beyond smug in his icon; but since 6a has taken over LJ there’s just been a disconnect with the userbase and 6a as to what both want, and expect out of each other. 6a wanting to be a content provider and expecting their members to be happy sheep, who tell them how much they love them, and don’t write anything above a PG-13 rating, hands above the belt, never mentioning any of the nasties in the world and adding loads and loads of content to their happy little kingdom…and the users, who by and large, want LiveJournal to be a Service Provider and well…fuck off while they write porn (as has been the case for the many years beforehand, well before SixApart came into the picture).

It’s SixApart’s playground, and as such they have the right to make their rules here. The first amendment does not apply here (it’s private property) and I understand that; and as a long time message board mod and admin I respect that in ways you can’t even begin to imagine unless you’ve ever had a 12 year old explain to you why, on your website, that you pay for, they should have the right to do whatever the hell they want. Believe me, I get it. What I’m just not okay with is LJ/6A not stating what they want outright, hiding behind obscenity laws they clearly know nothing about and doing a piss poor job in general of public relations all the while providing me with less than stellar service that I paid for when I purchased and upgraded to a permanent account two years ago (and holding a paid account for every year before then).

I have been on LiveJournal (well, this blog five years…my first blog was created in high school…I didn’t know they had rename tokens a year later) for a total of six years. Since the time I’ve joined, most things have been just fine. Since 6a has come onboard, they have changed the TOS numerous times, rarely updating the change date; the whole delete without notice thing I can live with (I don’t like it, but it was in the TOS when I joined) but the notion of adding a “report content” link at the bottom or top of blogs is just beyond the pale.

That said, at the start of the school year, I’ll be moving my blog over to http://www.nomadmatan.net/blog and RSSing it here and a few other sites (it already RSS-es to DList.com and Facebook.

It’s something I’ve been contemplating for awhile now anyway. There’s a lot I’d like to do with my domain. I’d like to organize and upload all of my poetry, essays, and travelogues. I’d like to upload all of my photography (of which, I have barely uploaded anything to on LJ). I’d like to have resources for travelers who also want to live a nomadic lifestyle, and I’ve been meaning to have weekly columns on a lot of things as well as product recommendations that I can’t currently do given LiveJournal’s current structure (and I’d like to have control of what the directory structure looks like so I can have something like nomadmatan.net/traveltips rather than nomadmatan.net/643257457.html). I also want more control over my side bar; plugin options, blog directory listing options, etc and that’s not really stuff I can do on LiveJournal (of course there are hacks around it, and I’ve used most of those and made use of many in my info page, but I’d rather have the real deal).

Personally though, I think parents need to step up and take responsibility: if kids are on the net alone, then you’re responsible for what they see. Computers are not babysitters. Also, the world is filled with unpleasant things (it’s also filled with beauty that consistently triumphs any of the bullshit) but if you don’t want your kids to come across words like fuck and suck and cock and clit, perhaps the internet, television and society in general are not the right places for your child to participate in.

I shouldn’t feel the need to censor myself on my website outside of what I believe would hinder my personal and professional goals, having to worry that someone won’t like something I wrote and will click that little “report content flag” button. I’m not going to concern myself with the fact that a ten year old may stumble onto my site one morning, after a night of debauchery on my end and learn new words that his parents will have to look up and explain to him. Not my concern, not my problem…parent your kids (and don’t assume that the rest of us are concerned with your children’s well being…I really couldn’t care less about your children’s innocence).

Also,there’s a lot of porn and erotica that I’ve written that just isn’t appropriate to post on LiveJournal (given the current Terms of Service). There’s also essays I’ve written on Kafka and Sexuality, Masoch and Freedom, and personal chats I’ve imagined at a café with the Marquis de Sade that would be fun to share as well, that I’m fairly sure wouldn’t be looked upon kindly by everyone at the 6a staff so I might as well just save it all and put it together under some unified, hopefully making some kind of sense (or not, considering how random I normally tend to be anyway) nomadmatan.net website.

Fortunately, thanks to a certain gryvon; I should have a tinsy bit of hosting space to play with (and do neat things, like host a non-yahoo group mailing list…sweet mother of moses, no more advertisements!).

I’m not going away at all, I’m not going to stop reading anyone’s journals, but I’m certainly going to look into the options I have for expanding my blogging power and platform so that I know that if I write something someone might find offensive, it’s not going to get bahleeted (mostly because for anything I’ve written of questionable adult content, I know that gryvon has written something about ten times worse, involving tentacles and a surge protector…which is one of many reasons why we love Chris…Chris keeps the porn coming…).

Besides, 99.99% of you won’t even notice the difference, with an RSS Poster to update all of my blogs at once; the only difference is that the actual content is hosted somewhere reliable (with gryvon rather than LJ) and you still see it here, the same way you do now, with comments and icons and all that fun stuff.

Aliyah Update

So after some slight confusion; it turns out that my IDF Requirement is only Two Years. The only thing left to do (other than hear back from my Shaliach) is manage to get in touch with Garin Tzabar to schedule a meeting with them to see if they’ll make an age exception (since I’ll be 23 at time of Landing in Israel and 24 when I serve with the IDF).

Outside of that, I’m anxiously waiting to find out what Kibbutz I’ll be on for Ulpan…so excited. Four-ish months until I’m done with School, 5-ish months until I’m in Israel Again.

I do have a post with more substance (and better spelling and grammar), but that’ll have to come later.

Some Clarifications & Other Things

Some Clarifications

In a previous post; I mentioned the white picket fence lifestyle; I use that merely as a title. I could have also used “1950s Revisionist Wannabes” or anything similar; the post is not meant to imply or state out right that people who live with white picket fences, or in suburban, or rural ares are any less cognizant or any less deep or introspective than those who do not; rather it was written about those who I find prescribe themselves to the lifestyle that is best illustrated in American Psycho that I was objecting to.

I know many people who live rurally (

iolausian and felperland are perfect examples) who are deep, thoughtful, insightful and beyond brilliant and well educated. I apologize for the confusion (I’m just getting to go through my email now and I’ve gotten the two emails asking for clarification).

It’s something I plan on touching on again, at a later date and time.

Where I’m At

email: [email protected]
web: http://www.nomadmatan.net

JournalFen; nomadmatan
InsaneJournal nomadmatan
GreatestJournal: nomadmatan
MySpace: http://www.myspace.com/nomadmatan
DList: http://www.dlist.com/nomadmatan
FaceBook: Facebook me!

NomadMatan.net,.com,.org,.us,.info,.co.il

I’m honestly getting annoyed with LiveJournal recently…it’s not just the customer service (or lack thereof) or the fact that

barakb25 looks beyond smug in his icon; but since 6a has taken over LJ there’s just been a disconnect with the userbase and 6a as to what both want, and expect out of each other. 6a wanting to be a content provider and expecting their members to be happy sheep, who tell them how much they love them, and don’t write anything above a PG-13 rating, hands above the belt, never mentioning any of the nasties in the world and adding loads and loads of content to their happy little kingdom…and the users, who by and large, want LiveJournal to be a Service Provider and well…fuck off while they write porn (as has been the case for the many years beforehand, well before SixApart came into the picture).

It’s SixApart’s playground, and as such they have the right to make their rules here. The first amendment does not apply here (it’s private property) and I understand that; and as a long time message board mod and admin I respect that in ways you can’t even begin to imagine unless you’ve ever had a 12 year old explain to you why, on your website, that you pay for, they should have the right to do whatever the hell they want. Believe me, I get it. What I’m just not okay with is LJ/6A not stating what they want outright, hiding behind obscenity laws they clearly know nothing about and doing a piss poor job in general of public relations all the while providing me with less than stellar service that I paid for when I purchased and upgraded to a permanent account two years ago (and holding a paid account for every year before then).

I have been on LiveJournal (well, this blog five years…my first blog was created in high school…I didn’t know they had rename tokens a year later) for a total of six years. Since the time I’ve joined, most things have been just fine. Since 6a has come onboard, they have changed the TOS numerous times, rarely updating the change date; the whole delete without notice thing I can live with (I don’t like it, but it was in the TOS when I joined) but the notion of adding a “report content” link at the bottom or top of blogs is just beyond the pale.

That said, at the start of the school year, I’ll be moving my blog over to http://www.nomadmatan.net/blog and RSSing it here and a few other sites (it already RSS-es to DList.com and Facebook.

It’s something I’ve been contemplating for awhile now anyway. There’s a lot I’d like to do with my domain. I’d like to organize and upload all of my poetry, essays, and travelogues. I’d like to upload all of my photography (of which, I have barely uploaded anything to on LJ). I’d like to have resources for travelers who also want to live a nomadic lifestyle, and I’ve been meaning to have weekly columns on a lot of things as well as product recommendations that I can’t currently do given LiveJournal’s current structure (and I’d like to have control of what the directory structure looks like so I can have something like nomadmatan.net/traveltips rather than nomadmatan.net/643257457.html). I also want more control over my side bar; plugin options, blog directory listing options, etc and that’s not really stuff I can do on LiveJournal (of course there are hacks around it, and I’ve used most of those and made use of many in my info page, but I’d rather have the real deal).

Personally though, I think parents need to step up and take responsibility: if kids are on the net alone, then you’re responsible for what they see. Computers are not babysitters. Also, the world is filled with unpleasant things (it’s also filled with beauty that consistently triumphs any of the bullshit) but if you don’t want your kids to come across words like fuck and suck and cock and clit, perhaps the internet, television and society in general are not the right places for your child to participate in.

I shouldn’t feel the need to censor myself on my website outside of what I believe would hinder my personal and professional goals, having to worry that someone won’t like something I wrote and will click that little “report content flag” button. I’m not going to concern myself with the fact that a ten year old may stumble onto my site one morning, after a night of debauchery on my end and learn new words that his parents will have to look up and explain to him. Not my concern, not my problem…parent your kids (and don’t assume that the rest of us are concerned with your children’s well being…I really couldn’t care less about your children’s innocence).

Also,there’s a lot of porn and erotica that I’ve written that just isn’t appropriate to post on LiveJournal (given the current Terms of Service). There’s also essays I’ve written on Kafka and Sexuality, Masoch and Freedom, and personal chats I’ve imagined at a café with the Marquis de Sade that would be fun to share as well, that I’m fairly sure wouldn’t be looked upon kindly by everyone at the 6a staff so I might as well just save it all and put it together under some unified, hopefully making some kind of sense (or not, considering how random I normally tend to be anyway) nomadmatan.net website.

Fortunately, thanks to a certain

gryvon; I should have a tinsy bit of hosting space to play with (and do neat things, like host a non-yahoo group mailing list…sweet mother of moses, no more advertisements!).

I’m not going away at all, I’m not going to stop reading anyone’s journals, but I’m certainly going to look into the options I have for expanding my blogging power and platform so that I know that if I write something someone might find offensive, it’s not going to get bahleeted (mostly because for anything I’ve written of questionable adult content, I know that

gryvon has written something about ten times worse, involving tentacles and a surge protector…which is one of many reasons why we love Chris…Chris keeps the porn coming…).

Besides, 99.99% of you won’t even notice the difference, with an RSS Poster to update all of my blogs at once; the only difference is that the actual content is hosted somewhere reliable (with

gryvon rather than LJ) and you still see it here, the same way you do now, with comments and icons and all that fun stuff.

Aliyah Update

So after some slight confusion; it turns out that my IDF Requirement is only Two Years. The only thing left to do (other than hear back from my Shaliach) is manage to get in touch with Garin Tzabar to schedule a meeting with them to see if they’ll make an age exception (since I’ll be 23 at time of Landing in Israel and 24 when I serve with the IDF).

Outside of that, I’m anxiously waiting to find out what Kibbutz I’ll be on for Ulpan…so excited. Four-ish months until I’m done with School, 5-ish months until I’m in Israel Again.

I do have a post with more substance (and better spelling and grammar), but that’ll have to come later.