2006

moocowinthecity 2006-07-19 No Comments

Date: Wednesday 7/19/06 1:34:00 AM

Mood: I need to pee

Adventures in Underwear

So today was fairly uneventful. I realize that my lack of underwear was seriously going to impact my stay down here (as I was planning on returning to Buffalo…where, by now, I probably have over 100 pairs of underwear).

So I went and got two packs of boxers (I really didn’t think Mom should have to be sent on that kind of errand, I mean, I know she’d do it because I wasn’t in the mood to go out, but really, by the time you’re 21 you should be buying your own underwear with your own money instead of describing what kind of underwear you need and sending your poor mother out to get it for you).

Anyways, I appreciate the words of support from all of you. I got to speak to Eli on the phone today which was cool. He doesn’t think I’m anemic and disagrees with my doctor’s assessment. Now, since I have absolutely no background in this kind of thing I can only report what I’m told (which is that my doctor said ‘wow, you’re anemic’…however, I also have no problem taking book on other people’s opinions of what’s going on:

That Said…

“I have to go to the bookies…what do you know that I don’t…bube…there are many things I know that you don’t”

I believe Carrie (irenefinlay) is voting for mumps and she’s very certain that if I were to die of some disease, it would be rare, and foreign, and probably stem from a trip to some bizarre part of the world and/or outer space.

Eli is voting that I’m not Anemic but he doesn’t know what it is either; however he challenges my doctors assertion that I am Anemic because that’s what he’s studying at the moment in his research (for the record, he’s also working with Rat Ears…I make him wash his hands before I come over and play).

I’m voting that I have no idea wtf is going on, but that I feel good after the shot in the ass (not…because it was in the ass, but because of the drugs the shot contained) and that I can be back in Buffalo by next Thursday. I also vote that having a shot in the ass requires one to change their sleeping habit for a night.

Mom is voting that I have the mumps (god dammit!) and then had a relapse of the Mumps again because ‘you’re a student and you never slow down!’ If I do have the mumps as she believes I do, she wants to go into the doctors office and go “I told you so” (‘because he’s such a misogynist!’)

Feel free to add your wager to the pot, winner gets a free pack of green tea.

Anyways, whatever the Doctor injected me with is certainly helping, I’m pretty sure it was a steroid and something else. I do feel better every day (and after literally a month of being sick, that’s a good feeling) buuuut I still can’t go back to Buffalo until I:

a) Know what I had

b) Know what I currently have and

c) Know how I can treat whatever it is I have, and avoid getting it again.

To think, this all started with a ‘sinus infection’

Actually, let me give you the rough time line of events (in terms of Days, it’s not 100% accurate, but it’s close)

Days 1-4 – Don’t go to Doctor because I’m only just getting sick, it will go away on it’s own, why bother…I was raised in a Jewish house…you don’t bother a doctor unless you a) have to or b) are getting his telephone number.

Days 5-8 – Not going away on it’s own. See Physicians Assistant on Day 5, told I’m fine, go home, I’ll be better on my own in a ‘week and a half’. Day 8, See a Doctor. Told I have a sinus infection, receive Z-Pack Script

Days 8-13 – Take Z-Pack, still feel sick

Days 14-16 – (at least, I think it was two days time) do nothing

Days 17-27 – Day 17 See Dr. Carnavele, Then See Dr. Chatrath, Receive Levaquin Script. On Levaquin for 10 Days. Still feel like shit.

Day 28 – Return to New York, instead of Buffalo, from Boston. Carrie Gave me Soup and Tea…Stephen gave me other things that we won’t talk about on LJ.

So, it could turn out that ‘treatment’ is just rest and soup in which case, rock on (no one will be happier than me for an excuse to eat soup and nap). It could mean treatment is something else (medication, etc). In reality, I have no idea.

Yes, I’m going for a cat scan (and I appreciate those who have offered up their cats to stare at me so I don’t have to make an appointment at the radiologists office) I know I had one person tell me “they only do that when it’s serious” but in all honesty, I think my doctor’s just being thorough.

I don’t get worried about medical procedures or doctors visits (to the consternation of some of my friends who freak out at the sight of a needle) mainly because I view myself as a pragmatist.

There’s a problem that I am unequipped (since it isn’t my field) to handle on my own. Therefore, I seek out an expert opinion. The expert then lets me know what the problem is and, if it sounds like it is within reason, I agree and then s/he tells me how to deal with it, and I do. Pretty basic. The only thing that’s gumming up the works is the fact that my insurance company is behaving like an asshat. However, I should be able to get the Cat Scan completed on Thursday, and hopefully see the Doctor on Friday and know what the deal is.

Now, my lymph nodes (or at least, I think that’s what they are) are still swollen…I prefer calling them “those bumpy things” however, I have clean underwear and plenty of books to read and stuff to drink, and who can ask for more.

Not only that, no one in around 100 miles would even THINK of wearing a Red Socks Jersey and that alone is enough to warm my heart…now, if I could just get Mussina and Jeter to warm my bed…if I can only have one, I’ll take Mussina. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. There’s nothing hotter than a Yankee in Pinstripes.

Not a whole lot of exciting things to update folks on…I mean, mostly, I sit in either boxers or pajamas in bed or a recliner, and read…I mean, I think the books are exciting (don’t get me wrong) but I can’t very well go “ohh and Archie had a brilliant move!” because none of you would know what the hell I was talking about.

So that’s it. I’m feeling better though not quite there yet, I’ve had a shot in the ass which was an experience unto itself, I now have clean underwear and I haven’t gotten a paper cut from reading and I won’t know anything until Friday so you now know, as much as I know.

Now…everyone Play Dr. House and we’ll have a good old time seeing who’s right…or, don’t waste your time and do something more entertaining.

Untitled

moocowinthecity 2006-07-19 No Comments

Date: Wednesday 7/19/06 1:34:00 AM

Mood: I need to pee

Adventures in Underwear

So today was fairly uneventful. I realize that my lack of underwear was seriously going to impact my stay down here (as I was planning on returning to Buffalo…where, by now, I probably have over 100 pairs of underwear).

So I went and got two packs of boxers (I really didn’t think Mom should have to be sent on that kind of errand, I mean, I know she’d do it because I wasn’t in the mood to go out, but really, by the time you’re 21 you should be buying your own underwear with your own money instead of describing what kind of underwear you need and sending your poor mother out to get it for you).

Anyways, I appreciate the words of support from all of you. I got to speak to Eli on the phone today which was cool. He doesn’t think I’m anemic and disagrees with my doctor’s assessment. Now, since I have absolutely no background in this kind of thing I can only report what I’m told (which is that my doctor said ‘wow, you’re anemic’…however, I also have no problem taking book on other people’s opinions of what’s going on:

That Said…

“I have to go to the bookies…what do you know that I don’t…bube…there are many things I know that you don’t”

I believe Carrie (irenefinlay) is voting for mumps and she’s very certain that if I were to die of some disease, it would be rare, and foreign, and probably stem from a trip to some bizarre part of the world and/or outer space.

Eli is voting that I’m not Anemic but he doesn’t know what it is either; however he challenges my doctors assertion that I am Anemic because that’s what he’s studying at the moment in his research (for the record, he’s also working with Rat Ears…I make him wash his hands before I come over and play).

I’m voting that I have no idea wtf is going on, but that I feel good after the shot in the ass (not…because it was in the ass, but because of the drugs the shot contained) and that I can be back in Buffalo by next Thursday. I also vote that having a shot in the ass requires one to change their sleeping habit for a night.

Mom is voting that I have the mumps (god dammit!) and then had a relapse of the Mumps again because ‘you’re a student and you never slow down!’ If I do have the mumps as she believes I do, she wants to go into the doctors office and go “I told you so” (‘because he’s such a misogynist!’)

Feel free to add your wager to the pot, winner gets a free pack of green tea.

Anyways, whatever the Doctor injected me with is certainly helping, I’m pretty sure it was a steroid and something else. I do feel better every day (and after literally a month of being sick, that’s a good feeling) buuuut I still can’t go back to Buffalo until I:

a) Know what I had

b) Know what I currently have and

c) Know how I can treat whatever it is I have, and avoid getting it again.

To think, this all started with a ‘sinus infection’

Actually, let me give you the rough time line of events (in terms of Days, it’s not 100% accurate, but it’s close)

Days 1-4 – Don’t go to Doctor because I’m only just getting sick, it will go away on it’s own, why bother…I was raised in a Jewish house…you don’t bother a doctor unless you a) have to or b) are getting his telephone number.

Days 5-8 – Not going away on it’s own. See Physicians Assistant on Day 5, told I’m fine, go home, I’ll be better on my own in a ‘week and a half’. Day 8, See a Doctor. Told I have a sinus infection, receive Z-Pack Script

Days 8-13 – Take Z-Pack, still feel sick

Days 14-16 – (at least, I think it was two days time) do nothing

Days 17-27 – Day 17 See Dr. Carnavele, Then See Dr. Chatrath, Receive Levaquin Script. On Levaquin for 10 Days. Still feel like shit.

Day 28 – Return to New York, instead of Buffalo, from Boston. Carrie Gave me Soup and Tea…Stephen gave me other things that we won’t talk about on LJ.

So, it could turn out that ‘treatment’ is just rest and soup in which case, rock on (no one will be happier than me for an excuse to eat soup and nap). It could mean treatment is something else (medication, etc). In reality, I have no idea.

Yes, I’m going for a cat scan (and I appreciate those who have offered up their cats to stare at me so I don’t have to make an appointment at the radiologists office) I know I had one person tell me “they only do that when it’s serious” but in all honesty, I think my doctor’s just being thorough.

I don’t get worried about medical procedures or doctors visits (to the consternation of some of my friends who freak out at the sight of a needle) mainly because I view myself as a pragmatist.

There’s a problem that I am unequipped (since it isn’t my field) to handle on my own. Therefore, I seek out an expert opinion. The expert then lets me know what the problem is and, if it sounds like it is within reason, I agree and then s/he tells me how to deal with it, and I do. Pretty basic. The only thing that’s gumming up the works is the fact that my insurance company is behaving like an asshat. However, I should be able to get the Cat Scan completed on Thursday, and hopefully see the Doctor on Friday and know what the deal is.

Now, my lymph nodes (or at least, I think that’s what they are) are still swollen…I prefer calling them “those bumpy things” however, I have clean underwear and plenty of books to read and stuff to drink, and who can ask for more.

Not only that, no one in around 100 miles would even THINK of wearing a Red Socks Jersey and that alone is enough to warm my heart…now, if I could just get Mussina and Jeter to warm my bed…if I can only have one, I’ll take Mussina. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. There’s nothing hotter than a Yankee in Pinstripes.

Not a whole lot of exciting things to update folks on…I mean, mostly, I sit in either boxers or pajamas in bed or a recliner, and read…I mean, I think the books are exciting (don’t get me wrong) but I can’t very well go “ohh and Archie had a brilliant move!” because none of you would know what the hell I was talking about.

So that’s it. I’m feeling better though not quite there yet, I’ve had a shot in the ass which was an experience unto itself, I now have clean underwear and I haven’t gotten a paper cut from reading and I won’t know anything until Friday so you now know, as much as I know.

Now…everyone Play Dr. House and we’ll have a good old time seeing who’s right…or, don’t waste your time and do something more entertaining.

Health Update

moocowinthecity 2006-07-18 No Comments

Subject: Health Update

Date: Tuesday 7/18/06 1:38:00 AM

Mood: blech

Music: The Colbert Report

Location: Plainview, Long Island, New York

I’m just going to copy the E-mail I sent out to those I work with/have a need to know why I’m not available (I just think it’s sort of shitty to not be available for a while and not tell people why they can’t get in touch with you). Anyways:

Date: Mon, 17 Jul 2006 21:20:51 -0700 (PDT)

From: “Matthew L. Schwartz”

Subject: Health Update/Out of Office

To: “undisclosed recipients”

Dear Friends & Colleagues,

I don’t often share this level of personal information

with folks but I thought this might be important to

share so I can explain to you while I’ll be

unavailable over the next week or two.

I have been sick for around thirty days, and after two

doses of antibiotics (first Z-Pack, then Levaquin) I

still felt sick. The pinnacle of this came when I was

on a photo shoot this weekend in Boston and on Sunday

had to take an emergency train home to NYC because I

felt ill and more importantly, I was in pain.

Upon arriving in NYC I was scheduled for an

appointment with a specialist whom I saw today. After

being told that I was anemic, having two vials of

blood drawn, receiving some injections, having an EKG,

going through a series of X-Rays I was told that I

then had to get a Cat Scan of my Lungs with Contrast

and that they’ll know what’s going on with me when

they get the Cat Scan and the Blood Tests Back. This

means that the earliest I can return to Buffalo is

this coming Monday, but in all honesty it really

depends on what the doctors say.

That said, I won’t be in contact very much via

telephone, as it hurts to speak. I will however be

reachable via E-mail (please allow me some time to

respond) and I will keep you abreast of the situation

as it stands.

For those of you with whom I share a seat on a

committee or an organization, please forward me

meeting minutes and keep me informed of what’s going

on. I hate being out of the loop.

I hope to return to Buffalo very, very soon and I look

forward to seeing all of you again in short order. If

you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to ask.

All my best,

Matthew

—

Matthew L. Schwartz, CPhT

Member: American Translators Association

Interpretation, Literary & Medical Divisions

Concentration in Arabic Translation & Interpretation at the

Department of Linguistics, State University of New York at Buffalo

So that’s the deal and where things stand. For some reason, despite being faxed proof that I’m a student about 7 or 8 times, my insurance company is still having issues, so the earliest I can make the Cat Scan appointment is Wednesday; which means I’m currently home, on Long Island, resting. Mostly sleeping, which as far as my dog is concerned is the best activity ever and I have to say, I’m inclined to agree.

So hopefully Thursday I’ll be able to get the Cat Scan, Friday see the Doctor and know what’s going on. I’ll keep everyone updated. Please, don’t be overly concerned. While it is incredibly shitty to not know what’s going on (and, overall, to feel like crap), I have awesome medical care here on The Island, with Doctors who know me (and who have worked with me) and once I know what’s going on I can tackle it head on…the trick is just to figure out what’s going on and I leave that to my Doctor.

Anyways, bed time.

Health Update

moocowinthecity 2006-07-18 No Comments

Subject: Health Update

Date: Tuesday 7/18/06 1:38:00 AM

Mood: blech

Music: The Colbert Report

Location: Plainview, Long Island, New York

I’m just going to copy the E-mail I sent out to those I work with/have a need to know why I’m not available (I just think it’s sort of shitty to not be available for a while and not tell people why they can’t get in touch with you). Anyways:

Date: Mon, 17 Jul 2006 21:20:51 -0700 (PDT)

From: “Matthew L. Schwartz”

Subject: Health Update/Out of Office

To: “undisclosed recipients”

Dear Friends & Colleagues,

I don’t often share this level of personal information

with folks but I thought this might be important to

share so I can explain to you while I’ll be

unavailable over the next week or two.

I have been sick for around thirty days, and after two

doses of antibiotics (first Z-Pack, then Levaquin) I

still felt sick. The pinnacle of this came when I was

on a photo shoot this weekend in Boston and on Sunday

had to take an emergency train home to NYC because I

felt ill and more importantly, I was in pain.

Upon arriving in NYC I was scheduled for an

appointment with a specialist whom I saw today. After

being told that I was anemic, having two vials of

blood drawn, receiving some injections, having an EKG,

going through a series of X-Rays I was told that I

then had to get a Cat Scan of my Lungs with Contrast

and that they’ll know what’s going on with me when

they get the Cat Scan and the Blood Tests Back. This

means that the earliest I can return to Buffalo is

this coming Monday, but in all honesty it really

depends on what the doctors say.

That said, I won’t be in contact very much via

telephone, as it hurts to speak. I will however be

reachable via E-mail (please allow me some time to

respond) and I will keep you abreast of the situation

as it stands.

For those of you with whom I share a seat on a

committee or an organization, please forward me

meeting minutes and keep me informed of what’s going

on. I hate being out of the loop.

I hope to return to Buffalo very, very soon and I look

forward to seeing all of you again in short order. If

you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to ask.

All my best,

Matthew

—

Matthew L. Schwartz, CPhT

Member: American Translators Association

Interpretation, Literary & Medical Divisions

Concentration in Arabic Translation & Interpretation at the

Department of Linguistics, State University of New York at Buffalo

So that’s the deal and where things stand. For some reason, despite being faxed proof that I’m a student about 7 or 8 times, my insurance company is still having issues, so the earliest I can make the Cat Scan appointment is Wednesday; which means I’m currently home, on Long Island, resting. Mostly sleeping, which as far as my dog is concerned is the best activity ever and I have to say, I’m inclined to agree.

So hopefully Thursday I’ll be able to get the Cat Scan, Friday see the Doctor and know what’s going on. I’ll keep everyone updated. Please, don’t be overly concerned. While it is incredibly shitty to not know what’s going on (and, overall, to feel like crap), I have awesome medical care here on The Island, with Doctors who know me (and who have worked with me) and once I know what’s going on I can tackle it head on…the trick is just to figure out what’s going on and I leave that to my Doctor.

Anyways, bed time.

HPers Going to Carrie’s Wedding

moocowinthecity 2006-07-17 No Comments

Subject: HPers Going to Carrie’s Wedding

Date: Monday 7/17/06 11:02:00 PM

On Friday, it’s my understanding that Carrie and Stephen are taking the day to themselves (rightfully so, considering that they’re getting married the next day and really…I can’t begin to imagine the stress level they’ll have; disclaimer: this is my understanding, I may be wrong) so I was hoping that maybe all of us (Anne, Marian, Liz, et. al.) can go to the Outback Steakhouse since we don’t get to see each other often and it’ll give us all a chance to sit down and catch up.

There’s one right near the hotel (so I’m told) in Quincy (which would save us from trying to find parking in Boston, which – after this weekend – I can safely say is a pain in the ass). I can drive seven (six others, plus myself) in my Mini-Van.

Outback is usually pretty reasonable, has food kids will eat (I think they also have a children’s menu) and they have no problem splitting the check so those of us who are not math savvy will have an easy time paying our section of the tab. If you’re not up for heading out to Outback there is a wonderful looking resteraunt in the hotel, but I think they’re probably pricey. There’s also a bar across from the resteraunt.

So, anyone else up for a Friday Night HP Crew Dinner? Let me know. If not, that’s cool…I’ll just go with my Rubber Chicken.

~ The Bovine

HPers Going to Carrie’s Wedding

moocowinthecity 2006-07-17 No Comments

Subject: HPers Going to Carrie’s Wedding

Date: Monday 7/17/06 11:02:00 PM

On Friday, it’s my understanding that Carrie and Stephen are taking the day to themselves (rightfully so, considering that they’re getting married the next day and really…I can’t begin to imagine the stress level they’ll have; disclaimer: this is my understanding, I may be wrong) so I was hoping that maybe all of us (Anne, Marian, Liz, et. al.) can go to the Outback Steakhouse since we don’t get to see each other often and it’ll give us all a chance to sit down and catch up.

There’s one right near the hotel (so I’m told) in Quincy (which would save us from trying to find parking in Boston, which – after this weekend – I can safely say is a pain in the ass). I can drive seven (six others, plus myself) in my Mini-Van.

Outback is usually pretty reasonable, has food kids will eat (I think they also have a children’s menu) and they have no problem splitting the check so those of us who are not math savvy will have an easy time paying our section of the tab. If you’re not up for heading out to Outback there is a wonderful looking resteraunt in the hotel, but I think they’re probably pricey. There’s also a bar across from the resteraunt.

So, anyone else up for a Friday Night HP Crew Dinner? Let me know. If not, that’s cool…I’ll just go with my Rubber Chicken.

~ The Bovine

Frightening how it all comes together

moocowinthecity 2006-07-14 No Comments

Subject: Frightening how it all comes together

Date: Friday 7/14/06 5:29:00 AM

Mood: transition

So I was talking with my Mom on the phone yesterday; and we’re (my family) all just about ready to hit these different stages in life.

My Twin Brother Dave just got his dream job at Toyota as an engineer designing cars, they’re paying for his apartment, cell phone, clothes and I’m so incredibly proud of him. I think he finally gets that we’re (him and I) not in competition with each other…that our fields of study and thought processes are so separate and distinctively different that we couldn’t possibly compete on anything. I think he finally gets that when I say I’m proud of him, I mean it. That when I say I love him, I mean it.

My Dad’s a success in life and in business and so is my Mother; though she doesn’t give herself nearly enough credit for what she’s done and what she does. But I don’t have to worry about them, or when and if they’ll be able to retire or how they’ll fund themselves; they’ve got it taken care of. I have complete faith that my Younger Brother Sam will make it and it’s exciting that next year he’s a Sophomore in High School…and scary, so scary because of drugs and alcohol and all the other little monsters that are hiding in the corners, in the shadows that I wish he didn’t have to see. Because he’s my younger brother, whose diapers I changed and with whom I sat next to in synagogue and he’s about to enter a very real and very scary world…and it scares the crap out of me because I won’t be able to protect him. Because he’s capable of thought and therefore, capable of making his own choices and I only hope that he’s strong enough to make all the right ones where certain things are concerned and where it isn’t life or death, I hope he learns from his mistakes…”and you shall be a blessing” But he’s a man now, and that’s a hard role for me to picture him in, even though he stands taller than me and his voice deeper than mine…and I know that he’ll handle entering the real world with the usual Schwartz way of doing things: Head on.

I’m 532 days (give or take) away from graduation; this is my Senior year…yes, I have two summer courses to take after this year and two courses to take in Fall of 07…but this is it. I’m on the last leg of the race and pulling straight A’s like no one’s business. I’m taking no prisoners and I’m hitting life with the ton of bricks it usually likes to hit me with. I won’t sit in trepidation or fear of the future, because even if there was some secondary shoe waiting to drop…I won’t let it.

As far as I go: my Arabic Studies are coming; slowly…as they should be studied slow. Learning to write Arabic and how to read it is a very relaxing, meditative process. It teaches you to enjoy doing things slow, to relish in how your hand feels when it touches pen to ink to paper (there is no substitute for writing with a quill) and to listen and focus on your inner voice and every time I wish I was better at it faster, I stop and list at least two reasons why I wish to be better at it slower.

This year I’m forcing myself to practice writing Arabic Lines two hours a day, all except Saturday and Sundays; for as much of the day as possible I will think in the language, write in the language…learn to transliterate English into the writing system just as I learned to do the same in Hebrew and truly master it. I will read, and reread all of my books on the subject (and I have many) until I can recite them in my sleep backwards and forwards…because my future career, as I see it and demand that it be…requires it and I will not allow myself to fail.

I’m almost done as an undergrad, and a whole new world awaits me as a grad student with research and ideas that I’m dying to investigate…and I’m standing on this cliff of excitement and while the fear is there, that fear of “what if you don’t make it” I push it out of my head saying to myself, quietly “I’ve always made it…and I always will…I alone decide my fate” and I’m about to jump off and instead of falling I’m about to soar…but it’s this wind up, as I run towards the cliffs edge, this last mile, that’s terrifying.

It’s terrifying because I’m rapidly becoming the man that I’ve always wanted to become…and it’s…it’s happening…it’s really happening…but then what? I’m about to enter what for me is uncharted territories…and despite what younger children think…Adults don’t get a rule book, we don’t get maps…and most of the time when it looks like we have all our shit together, we’re really just flying by the seat of our pants.

And, as my father’s words of advice to me go “Keep your wits about you” and everything is possible…other than that, I just have to remember to breathe.

And now that it’s all on paper, I can head out. I’ll catch up with everyone after this weekend.

Frightening how it all comes together

moocowinthecity 2006-07-14 No Comments

Subject: Frightening how it all comes together

Date: Friday 7/14/06 5:29:00 AM

Mood: transition

So I was talking with my Mom on the phone yesterday; and we’re (my family) all just about ready to hit these different stages in life.

My Twin Brother Dave just got his dream job at Toyota as an engineer designing cars, they’re paying for his apartment, cell phone, clothes and I’m so incredibly proud of him. I think he finally gets that we’re (him and I) not in competition with each other…that our fields of study and thought processes are so separate and distinctively different that we couldn’t possibly compete on anything. I think he finally gets that when I say I’m proud of him, I mean it. That when I say I love him, I mean it.

My Dad’s a success in life and in business and so is my Mother; though she doesn’t give herself nearly enough credit for what she’s done and what she does. But I don’t have to worry about them, or when and if they’ll be able to retire or how they’ll fund themselves; they’ve got it taken care of. I have complete faith that my Younger Brother Sam will make it and it’s exciting that next year he’s a Sophomore in High School…and scary, so scary because of drugs and alcohol and all the other little monsters that are hiding in the corners, in the shadows that I wish he didn’t have to see. Because he’s my younger brother, whose diapers I changed and with whom I sat next to in synagogue and he’s about to enter a very real and very scary world…and it scares the crap out of me because I won’t be able to protect him. Because he’s capable of thought and therefore, capable of making his own choices and I only hope that he’s strong enough to make all the right ones where certain things are concerned and where it isn’t life or death, I hope he learns from his mistakes…”and you shall be a blessing” But he’s a man now, and that’s a hard role for me to picture him in, even though he stands taller than me and his voice deeper than mine…and I know that he’ll handle entering the real world with the usual Schwartz way of doing things: Head on.

I’m 532 days (give or take) away from graduation; this is my Senior year…yes, I have two summer courses to take after this year and two courses to take in Fall of 07…but this is it. I’m on the last leg of the race and pulling straight A’s like no one’s business. I’m taking no prisoners and I’m hitting life with the ton of bricks it usually likes to hit me with. I won’t sit in trepidation or fear of the future, because even if there was some secondary shoe waiting to drop…I won’t let it.

As far as I go: my Arabic Studies are coming; slowly…as they should be studied slow. Learning to write Arabic and how to read it is a very relaxing, meditative process. It teaches you to enjoy doing things slow, to relish in how your hand feels when it touches pen to ink to paper (there is no substitute for writing with a quill) and to listen and focus on your inner voice and every time I wish I was better at it faster, I stop and list at least two reasons why I wish to be better at it slower.

This year I’m forcing myself to practice writing Arabic Lines two hours a day, all except Saturday and Sundays; for as much of the day as possible I will think in the language, write in the language…learn to transliterate English into the writing system just as I learned to do the same in Hebrew and truly master it. I will read, and reread all of my books on the subject (and I have many) until I can recite them in my sleep backwards and forwards…because my future career, as I see it and demand that it be…requires it and I will not allow myself to fail.

I’m almost done as an undergrad, and a whole new world awaits me as a grad student with research and ideas that I’m dying to investigate…and I’m standing on this cliff of excitement and while the fear is there, that fear of “what if you don’t make it” I push it out of my head saying to myself, quietly “I’ve always made it…and I always will…I alone decide my fate” and I’m about to jump off and instead of falling I’m about to soar…but it’s this wind up, as I run towards the cliffs edge, this last mile, that’s terrifying.

It’s terrifying because I’m rapidly becoming the man that I’ve always wanted to become…and it’s…it’s happening…it’s really happening…but then what? I’m about to enter what for me is uncharted territories…and despite what younger children think…Adults don’t get a rule book, we don’t get maps…and most of the time when it looks like we have all our shit together, we’re really just flying by the seat of our pants.

And, as my father’s words of advice to me go “Keep your wits about you” and everything is possible…other than that, I just have to remember to breathe.

And now that it’s all on paper, I can head out. I’ll catch up with everyone after this weekend.

מרי לנצח

moocowinthecity 2006-07-11 No Comments

Subject: מרי לנצח

Date: Tuesday 7/11/06 11:29:00 PM

מרי לנצח

עברי לידר

אני יושבת בבאר די לבדי

שותה קצת מדברת הרבה עם עצמי

טלסקופים קטנים מדווחים לי על כל מה שקורה מסביבי

אני ניגשת מהר ולא מהססת

הוא נראה לי חמוד אבל לזה אני לא מתייחסת

מתחילה לדבר אליו בשפה שהוא בטח יבין

איזה עיניים יפות אתה באת לבד?

אני נראית נהדר ויש לי דירה

עם מרפסת לים

וכדאי גם לך לבוא לשם

אז הוא מבין את הרמז וקם

הוא משלם גם בשבילי ויוצא מהדלת

ויש לו מכונית מפוארת

ואני חושבת שהפעם יש לי מזל

אז מתחילה להרגיש את הדופק

איך הוא ממריץ לי את הדם

ואז בלי שיראה אני לוקחת כדור לנצח ת’פחד

ובדרך כבר שולחת ידיים למכנסיים שלו

וממששת עולה ויורדת וחם לי בגוף

וגם לו

במיטה אני עושה את הכל כמו שצריך

ואחרי שגמר נכנסת לבד למקלחת

ואיך בוכה שם בשקט כי יודעת שכמו כולם הוא יברח

כשיתעורר לידי בבוקר ויבין באיחור גם אתמול כמו היום

אני בעצם בחור מכור, קוראים לי מרי לנצח

Meaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat

moocowinthecity 2006-07-09 No Comments

Subject: Meaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat

Date: Sunday 7/9/06 11:31:00 PM

Mood: hungry

Ugh…I’m hungry; but too tired at the moment to go out and do something pro-active about it so I’ll make some pasta and butter here (which is tasty) but what I’m really hungry for is MEAT I want a big ‘ole burger and a side of fries and soda…sadly, this probably won’t happen until Thursday.

Many people often get confused they go “But Matt…isn’t the cow your favorite animal?” Why yes…yes it is. The Cow is indeed my favorite animal, I have tons of cow decorations and curios in my kitchen, but as a matter of fact it’s my favorite animal in more than one way. And one of those ways is when it comes to me, on a plate, with lettuce, onions, tomatoes, BBQ Sauce and a Pickle. I make no apologies for being a meat eater, Humans are Animals and you certainly don’t see a Lion going “oh…you know, I sort of feel guilty” every time he starts eating a Gazelle. If you’re a vegetarian or a vegan I respect your choice, but it isn’t for me.

Now…for Pasta and Butter…

Peace,

~ Metro